Thursday, 28 April 2016


I decided to read Dr. Edith Fiore's book "The Unquiet Dead" from 1987, which I purchased a while back. I feel compelled to say a few words about this "classic" oeuvre based on my own personal experience with earth bound spirits. I started out with the hope that she has proven that the phenomenon of earth bounds spirits really exists. I am on the lookout for back up from an authority but sadly, this book left me disappointed. I am, however, in the process of finding more literature on the subject. My research has shown that a lot of sources about earthbound spirits rely on Fiore's book for information. In my opinion, all she is really doing through this book is creating a fear of possession and perpetuating a number of New Age myths that people seem to take at face value because she has a Ph.D in clinical psychology.

I simply don't believe it to be true that a great number of people carry several entities around for a huge number of years. It just doesn't sound plausible. According to Fiore, one of her patients had carried three people for over 30 years. Fiore seems to feel that most people have an attachment at some point in their life. If the entities were anything like the ones I've had to deal with, this would create an unimaginable chaos throughout society. She seems to be assuming, that people don't know themselves very well at all and are unable to tell that they are having foreign thoughts and feeling states. What kind of world would this be if people went around blaming evil spirits for all their neuroses and illnesses when people clearly have plenty enough issues of their own to deal with? Fiore touches upon this question towards the end, without going into any detail as to the real nature of the human condition. People who were possessed would most likely be unable to function in a normal day job. 

Fiore makes it seem as though the spirits just anchor themselves in people's auras and don't make much of a fuss in general. It's not likely that spirits would ever go about their possession in a subtle way, because this would simply be too boring for them.

Considering Fiore has a PhD in psychology, she offers a very flat view of reality. There are no in depth psychological analyses in this book. What confounds me about the case stories is that the spirits seem to be projecting the problems they had in their previous life through their victims, rather than playing actual games with them. My own experience suggests that their issues are entirely theirs, and not issues they would unwittingly project. If they do wish to affect a person, they have to project "issues" in a conscious manner, and are more likely to play on people's own fears than their own. My experience is that their uncanny abilities to manipulate others through the use of their minds make it very tempting to control people rather than just live in their shadow. They use telepathy and have the ability to pick up thought forms of various kinds. This includes pieces of music and some pieces of information in the form of well processed knowledge that they have to be actively looking for in order to retrieve from the ether. They are able to project thoughts, images and energies onto others. Fiore assumes they travel at the same speed as us, but that is questionable. What spirits are able to know about other people is the result of studying their thoughts. They are however not psychic in the sense of being able to read the future or know about somebody's past lives. They are definitely not omniscient. They don't understand the after world and how it all hangs together. They are nonetheless quick thinking and a lot smarter than they were in body.

Fiore is neither psychic, nor has she done any research into the world of spirit. It is surprising, that she would not have any interest in anything but the symptoms displayed by her patients. She is not able to hear the spirits and communicates only through yes and no answers. She only briefly mentions that they can give you the sense of hearing voices and music, though this is a widely accepted phenomenon. She also believes they only speak one language, which is totally erroneous. I have been able to check this out as I speak several languages myself.

Apart from controlling their host's thoughts and feelings, they would most definitely make their hosts feel extremely ill if they stayed on for longer. In Fiore's cases, this doesn't seem to be occurring that much. The entities she's dealing with don't sound very cunning at all, and this is simply not believable. In reality, they are incredibly fast thinking and manipulative. In the book, they come across as unbelievably naive and ready to comply. You get a kind of "Oh look, the spirit talks!" kind of feeling from the examples of communications with possessing spirits. In reality, they would very easily see through Dr. Fiore's quasi-authoritarian acts, as they would be able to read her mind and would most definitely use the information to take the piss. Her dialoging is fraught with cliches and sentimentalism, and would not make much of an impression on me if I was a malicious spirit. 

Of course I can't be absolutely certain, that entities that have resided with a physical person for a long time wouldn't be lost and confused. Perhaps it's possible that they would appear quite ignorant of their own abilities and general predicament. It just doesn't seem likely, as they are, after all, human beings, and should be perfectly capable of reflecting on their own situation.

You wouldn't easily snap out of a possession that started when you were very young, as Fiore attempts to demonstrate. You would not have developed any sense of self and would not be able to find yourself afterwards without a huge amount of work. It would be no different than being kidnapped and used in some way or another. She also proposes that the reason you attract them is because your aura is weak, but presents no real evidence that this would be the case.

Fiore always ends the depossessions by telling the spirits their deceased relatives are coming for them. How does she know this if she's not psychic? I'm not even sure an earthbound spirit is able to see the higher frequencies and wonder how this would work in practice. Fiore also adds past life regressions to the mix with the result that the life stories become really convoluted. For instance, one entity claims to have found a reincarnated soul mate and possessed her after one incarnation had passed between their mutual life. How would he know where to find her when he has no access to that kind of information while he's in limbo? In the real spirit world, it might be possible, but earthbound spirits are really earthbound and clearly not quite that psychic. Unless, of course, there is some kind of karmic drive and attraction that occurs on a subconscious level. I am assuming that things do happen for a reason.

There are also frequent accounts of spirits enjoying food and drink through their hosts, which is frankly a bit ridiculous, as they no longer feel anything much in relation to such things. I can tell that my perpetrator did like these things in her previous existence, but she's not making me indulge in anything at all. In fact, she doesn't care one bit that I eat very healthily and don't indulge in any vices at all. On the other hand, it's possible that some people are in it for a slight buzz and the memory of their previous addictions.

They might get a slight buzz from other people's sex, but Fiore is frequently making the point that the spirits are trying to prevent this from happening. My experience is that sex through people in the physical is on the whole, not really that compelling. It is not very likely that people could form any kinds of intimate relationships while possessed by earthbound spirits. Generally, their presence is a menace as they really are in it for the fun of it.

Fiore is only going by the testimonies that come to her through hypnosis, and they are all in fact very similar types of stories. I seriously question whether you can hypnotise that many people that efficiently, and get them to channel their entities that easily. She then gets the entities to leave by proposing that they will be loved and cared for and be able to lead a happy life in general in the after world. This is not something that would entice the malicious ones very much. I have found that my harasser thinks harassing the living is a lot more entertaining than harassing somebody on an equal footing in the more hellish corners of Heaven. Nothing much that I say about her ability to choose her own experiences after her transition to the spirit world is completed appears to make any impression. She keeps demonstrating that her boring existence while attached to my aura is a more enticing option, which is clearly just a matter of stubbornness and malice. Fiore has made the point that we should believe that earthbound spirits exist and can harass people, but it all falls upon a lack of credibility.

A more promising book that I have come across is another classic called  The Siren's call of Hungry Ghosts by Joe Fisher, in which he examines the whole field of medium ship with critical eyes and personal experience of earthbound spirits. For those who don't want to go as far as finding out about his story, there is a review on this website.

Monday, 25 April 2016


I have tried all the New Age formulas for removing the earthbound spirit that is still attached to me. I have offered love and compassion, I have tried surrounding myself with a white bubble, I have tried praying for help from the Universe, I have tried meditations for removing negative energy, and even a spirit rescue team. I have focused on all the good things in my life and felt gratitude for what I have. I have really put my foot down and asked them to leave. Nothing works in terms of removing the actual problem. It works as badly as it does if you have a physical person occupying your private space. They are really people without physical bodies, not some ephemeral energy that you can just think away. This is nothing less than a bad relationship that is co-dependent only on the part of the person who doesn't want to leave. Five harassers did leave reasonably early on (though it seemed late at the time) and might even have gone into the light as a result of all my processing and counselling, but the last one has made a point of ignoring all of that.

I am so tired of all the fear mongering and all the wishful thinking that abounds within the new spiritual movements. All I want is a normal life and to find stuff to do over the summer that is not of a spiritual nature. At the same time, I'm of the world, and don't see why I should be exempt from some of the troubles that pervade the world at large. I have in any case decided to stop recording the harassment and will mostly just try and get on with my life as best as I can. She's still on me, hoping that there is some more entertainment or buzz to be had. Some more, and then some more, and then some more, still. She hurts me physically a lot, but I just have to bear it.

I have demonstrated to the harassers how there has been so much synchronicity in my life and that things don't seem to happen for no reason. The fabric of my life is complex and though there has been an awful lot of suffering, in retrospect, it has been possible to see a logical pattern to many long winded situations. Things tend to fall into place, as if they had been "written in the stars". She should thus realise that her actions are very likely to be predictable from a higher perspective. As much as I'd like to say that all this should be over by now, it may be that her actions are still within a certain preordained time frame. After all, it was clearly important that I could determine that the spirit rescue team and their agenda was manipulative and untruthful, since the aggressor was still there afterwards, and that I also had a chance to cut the cord with the elderly gentleman who was trying to help me out of his own selfish agenda. He was also trying to manipulate me to follow his path and belief system, and what he thought was his spiritual destiny. At the moment the energies are really flopped as she can do very little without me being able to predict it. She's clearly trying very hard to go against some idea of how this should end if she did the right thing, but that's predictable too. The point is, whatever turn she takes is predictable. This must have been known to the Universe when this event was booked into my own life's calendar. I just don't believe in coincidences. 

In this process I have also quit the friendship I had with the older gentleman that I started at the beginning of the harassments a couple of months back. I found that he was also a bully of sorts, and unable to truly listen to me and what I'm going through. He thought he had all the answers to my issues, and that he needed to save me. I have written about the saviour's complex often found within spiritual movements elsewhere on my blog, so please look into the archives if you're interested in this kind of phenomenon. He had a lot of fantasies about the role I needed to play in his life on a spiritual level, and is clearly delusional about psychics and their abilities. He trusts most of them without the blinking of an eye. He was playing a game of knowing what kind of spiritual mission I have in life from readings he received from a psychic many years ago. He was being presumtuous and I feel that in a way he was taking advantage of the vulnerable position I found myself in because of the manipulative entities. He is not willing to believe that the spirit rescue team was a hoax. I gave him a chance to listen to my experience, but he retorted with a highly arrogant and manipulative statement. I have thanked him for his help and said my goodbyes. 

It is baffling how I have been thrown into a vortex of manipulations this year, but I trust that the reasons will become apparent later on in my life. I don't believe that I have attracted this stuff because of being secretly manipulative myself. Perhaps I have simply gone through this in order to better understand how manipulations really work. I trust that my previous posts illustrate this process of increased understanding. Perhaps I have also shed some karmic burdens. I am in fact pretty sure this has had a great impact on my shadow self and helped me rid of some persistent stuff that must still have resided somewhere deep down in the murky corners of my subconscious mind. There is nothing like suffering to help you shed your own shit and to develop fast. I do however feel that I have nothing more to gain from this kind of experience. Perhaps later on, I will write a book about all this. I now feel quite light hearted, in fact, and eager to enjoy the summer in spite of not feeling well. I don't feel that there is anything negative within me at this point in time, in spite of the fact that I am still carrying somebody else's energy around.

I will now draw my boundaries and say goodbye for now. I trust the ghost will leave when she gets sufficiently bored. After all, the occupation is in many ways a two way street, and I do in fact get the advantage of some of her energy while she's in my energy field. Contrary to popular belief, they don't necessarily live off a host's energies though they can most definitely  make people very ill by injecting all sorts of crappy energies into the body. I believe that is how I have coped in spite of all the pressure that has been put on me for several months. The sleep induction she has been experimenting on me  is very efficient, but when she has started to withdraw that, I have also started to suffer more from real sleep deprivation. I'll explain all that at some other point in time.

When she leaves, she will get the kind of reality that she wants. I don't care what happens to her but am sure she will create herself an even more hellish existence in one way or another. She is clearly hell bent on testing the boundaries of the darker side of life. She takes a perverted pleasure in tormenting me for the heck of it. Though she's a woman, she is a real wanker, in fact. Her invasion is a kind of mental and emotional rape.  She's like a pervert trying desperately to have a wank while watching some live  torture on the Internet that she doesn't really have to get involved with. She puts up with hours of boredom while I'm trying to sleep and get on with my daily life just for a few moments of some kind of powerkick.  The world is really  full of crazy people who have not yet realised that a manipulative mindset is destructive to the self. She's still in doubt whether she should leave or not because of what it would look like to me,  But once she's gone, she will of course no longer have to worry about what I think about the fact that she's left. I am not engaging in any deeper analysis of a spiritual nature for quite some time to come. I wish everyone a happy summer.

Sunday, 24 April 2016


I have looked around for help in order to deal with the problem I have with the entity attachment. We do often have to walk a negative and difficult path, via negativa, in order to learn about duality, work out issues of the past, and find ourselves. The darker reality of the human experience and the deceptive dss of the world of spirituality have always interested me. The subject of my Master's thesis in 1999 was the New Age worldview. Personally, I always had one foot in this field of spirituality, but the other foot was firmly rooted in traditional Eastern world views and more scientifically orientated spirituality. There is definitely an allure in the fact that new spiritual movements represent a contemporary viewpoint and offer fresh ideas for the spiritual seeker, but I also feel that it's a bit of a bog that one can get lost in.

There are of course many interesting viewpoints to be had within the New Age, though a lot of the belief systems and jargon is questionable. If you look at it from the point of view of the science of religions, the New Age can be considered a religion just like any other. The technical difference between this field and other organised religions is that it's esoteric rather than exoteric (it mainly looks inwards rather than outwards for answers), and that the ingredients tend to come from all over the place rather than from a well defined source. In practise, it may be less esoteric than people like to think, of course. People do always look outwards for answers. As we know, people today are increasingly interested in personal development and looking for their own truth, as many wish to liberate themselves from the shackles of traditional religious belief systems. The New Age field can be defined along the lines of certain characteristics and quite easily contained, though I am not going to offer an analysis here. What interests me at the moment is my own personal experience of New Age mythology and what it means within the context of my own./, self development. I hope that by sharing my experiences, others might gain some valuable insights.

Anyhow. Onto the real deal. I don't know what is going on, but my life is just getting weirder and weirder. When the channellings stopped and the harassers really started to harass me with threats of all sorts, I met a distinguished elderly man who felt compelled to help me find answers. He's been a good friend throughout all this, trying to find help for me, but I am not sure he understands the situation all that well. He is quite adamant about his own beliefs. 

When the harassments started, I talked to a psychic he recommended. She talked about something being stolen from me. Her predictions about my future seemed plausible enough. In the beginning of her reading, however, she said that I needed to get an aura cleansing ASAP. I have not been able to figure out what that really means and found no one who does that kind of thing. I can't clear my aura as the harasser is sitting in it. I can't receive any kind of healing though people keep telling me I need it. - she is blocking it every time. Having said that, I am of a positive mind frame because an outrageous experience like this one really makes me appreciate ordinary life. I am not depressed and I stopped grieving a year ago.

This psychic also said I needed to get help through the spiritualist church as the problem I was having was too powerful for me to deal with on my own. I went along with my new friend to a couple of meetings in the nearby church, and received some channellings there. It turned out that they were messages channeled by my harassers, who were, of course, following me around. It wasn't that difficult to figure it out afterwards, since I was able to communicate with them directly when I was on my own. 

The next thing I did was try and find somebody who could do an aura cleansing of sorts. I thought I might want to do a past life regression, as I figured I had some issue from the past that needed resolving. I found a local lady who insisted on following a protocol that would take several sessions. For 35 pounds I got a meditation and a chat, though made it clear that I was keen on a regression. Luckily, she fell ill when I was going to go back for the following session. She wrote to me that she had been shown in a vision that there was an energy portal above my house, whatever that is really
supposed to mean in reality? She also said that I needed to get rid of clutter, and that there was negative energy attached to a picture that I needed to get rid of as well. I got quite upset as the ghosts I am dealing with are in fact real people, and don't believe that anyone would attach themselves to a picture.. ! These people are people, which means that their energies might be negative, but possibly not that more negative than that of an ordinary depressed person. I walk around with this energy in my aura all the time and people still talk to me! I gave up on this lady. She received me in her home, and I could tell by her life circumstances that she was desperate for money.

Later on, when I processed the meditation I made with this purported healer, I had to question the idea that you can break some possible contracts that have been made in order for this attachment to happen, and that you have in fact "invited them in". I have realised, that I was manipulated into trying to communicate with the spirit world by the aggressors themselves. All I can say is, that you may like to question a persistent thought about trying some channelling on your own, as this is their way of getting you hooked on their games. 

I contacted some entity removal people on the Internet. One guy said I had multiple attachments here and there on my body, including a demon somewhere at the back of my body, around my neck, I guess... He wanted 180 pounds for the removal. One guy recommended by a friend who said he was a shaman, was supposed to remove the entities at a distance. I just had to lie down for an hour. Luckily he didn't ask for the money until afterwards. I never paid him, of course. Another guy didn't believe that I could have a whole gang of beings on my case as "they just don't work that way", and was convinced I suffered from a kundalini induced psychosis. He proposed a "closing down" technique that would protect your energy field. All you needed to do was a cutting motion with your hands. I have heard the idea of trying to close yourself down several times, but that makes no sense to me whatsoever since the attached spirit is doing a good job at closing me down all the time. Opening up as much as possible is probably a better way of dealing with the occupation of the body.

My friend found out about a local spirit rescuer who didn't come rushing to see me as he was a very busy person. He said that my friend could in fact do the spirit rescue himself if he came and talked to the ghost and carried a cross along with him. I gave up on that idea, of course. Christians can be intimidating enough, this is true, but a cross is not very scary, really... 

After some time had passed, my friend thought of a psychic he knew of. He arranged for her and a couple of other psychics to come to my house, but I had to wait for weeks for this to happen. I now wonder if this was somehow buttering me up to be sufficiently out of my mind when they came along. She did say it was lucky I didn't have to wait a couple more months for them to get here. They were in no rush to come to my aid. I called the lady up once but felt that she wasn't really very interested in my case. She had some kind of protocol of her own which she didn't want to talk about on the phone, since my harasser was listening (she can hear what is going on in my head).

In the meantime, I had to try and convince the harasser that the occupation really is a bad idea all around since the karmic consequences are great, and also that the kicks she might be able to get out of controlling me are not worth all the boredom she has to put up with in my daily life. I know that these are good arguments and that she probably agrees with them. I'm sure she understands that she needs to  move on and go into the light some time or another, as I have also talked a lot about what it is supposed to be like over on the other side. It is not my intention to put her down in a vengeful way, but to make a point about how ridiculous and harmful the occupation of my person really is. However, she wanted to stay on and see what the team would do. The last couple of weeks she has harassed me quite aggressively, probably because she had nothing better to do while she was waiting for the rescue.

Today, the spirit release team finally arrived. I found them unconvincing in terms of the kind of people they were. They were two women,  Janet Higgins and Jacqui Rogers, and one man, Chris Glover, who Jacqui. claims is her twin flame. They hugged me, though they didn't know me previously. Two of them were mostly silent and secretive, while one that didn't look like she was looking after herself very well as she was obese, was quite pushy. I got to tell them my story but didn't get the feeling they really related to any of it. There were no comments, just blank looks.  I asked them if they could see the harasser but I got no reply. I told them she was working hard on making me feel really queasy and nervous today (I didn't personally feel nervous), and they told me it's because she knows she will be gone soon.

The pushy psychic started to talk about my previous house where the ghost first started to bug me, and asked whether the facade was made of light coloured stone. She was attempting to find something about the appearances that would strike a chord with me but her descriptions were so woolly I can't remember what she was on about. All I know is, I used to live in a brick building, and she didn't get that right. They asked questions about whether there had been paranormal activities  and whether I'd seen any shapes, but there was no follow up on any of the information I supplied. They seemed to be asking about my experiences for the sake of asking, rather than as a basis for their work. They also seemed to believe there is "pure evil", which runs counter to most deeper spiritual beliefs about the nature of reality. I don't personally believe in demons other than in the form of some persistent thought forms. Thought forms are not people. 

They went ahead upstairs where they thought the other five spirits were still hiding out (they are most definitely not!) and did some "energy cleansing". All I heard was that they went "ooh and aah" about just how thick with negativity the energy was. I had to stay outside in the garden in the meantime. I have recently bought a lot of pots and plants and tried to make it into a beautiful outdoors space where we can truly relax. When they got back, they told me that there were mini ley lines beneath the house that they had moved them away from the house. Can you move energy lines of the earth?? They had also placed "protection" around the house so "nothing could ever come in again". They must be powerful to seal it like that, since earthbound spirits generally speaking have little trouble getting in through the walls.

Oh, and my pets. They asked whether my cats had noticed anything unusual. Had they been sitting around, staring into empty space, perchance..? I guess cats do sit and look into outer space a lot. Some of them are very concentrated on the spirit world, of course, we all know that! Ok so this is another New Age myth about cats. I hate to say it, but my cats aren't really all that spiritually minded. They are very happy cats who just love people, especially when everyone is sitting on top of each other..! and they don't care one bit about the energy a person displays. If they did, they would have walked away from home when my husband passed away. I don't believe for a second that they can see ghosts any better than we can.

They then went onto giving me healing while my cat was miaowing quite loudly and I was wondering how they were able to concentrate at all. My aggressor let go of me just a bit in order to get me to think they were actually healing me. They did the typical "is he always so friendly" kind of talk.

At the end, the aggressor was still there, whispering silently in my mind while my body went back to feeling like a block of stone. The aggressor was squeezing pretty hard in order to make me feel she really was still there. The pushy psychic told me the harasser was most definitely gone. I complained that I still felt the aggressor's presence but she said it was all in my mind. Be careful what is going on in your mind... You have to put your foot down and tell the negative entities to go away if they appear. What I was still feeling in my body was apparently an imprint of all that negative energy. They insisted that she had been taken away to Heaven by "some funny character", haha, but that was another story. It's funny isn't it how these characters are always funny.

It was supposed to be a battle.

That's in any case what the contact person had anticipated when she spoke to my friend.  She also said to me when I called her that one of the psychics were supposed to take the spirit on and get her off of me that way, and then... well,  not sure what, to be honest. And my poor spirit harasser didn't get her money's worth either. She had to sit on me in the garden while the team was roaming around my house and didn't even get to fight her battle. Oh dear! And she didn't even get rescued. 

The psychic then went onto telling me I had to stop thinking and writing about this stuff in order not to keep the energy present and inviting it in again. I complained that some of this stuff wasn't making sense to me. She said the stuff they were advising me about need not make any sense. "Sometimes it's just best to let it be". By saying this, she was telling me to accept her truth without question. According to her,  I also had to just decide to be rid of the problem. She kept telling me it was all about me managing my own mind from now on. This is not exactly in line with the idea that they had just cleaned and protected my house. 

The psychic went on at great length about the clutter in my house, which just happens to be a bit small for the furniture I have. I don't have clutter! I just moved in and got rid of tons of stuff. Apparently there were terrible energies still attached to the furniture, and not least a lovely Indian screen I have and should really get rid of altogether if they had their way. They backed off a bit when I said I had already arranged my new home to the best of my ability. The house may be small, but not everyone can live in a mansion.

A portrait of myself with very intense eyes that my husband has drawn and that hangs to the side of my bed is apparently so laden with negative energy that I really, really have to take it down and forget about it for many years to come.  I guess the picture must have scared the shit out of these people, after all, I look really fierce in it..!  I guess she couldn't tell me to burn it as it was my deceased husband's artwork, though I could feel that it was at the tip of her tongue. My husband must be so upset.

I am astounded that the ideas about clutter and energies attached to a picture came up again! You might recall that this is what the first healer I went to see told me as well. To me, it's really  manipulative jargon and some kind of regurgitated protocol that makes no sense whatsoever. I seem to feel I have heard this stuff before.

I was also told at great length that I need to have living things in my rooms.  I most definitely needed to have a plant in my bedroom, and as they just visited it they might have noticed I have one already. I also need to open the windows a lot, which I do already, as the rooms do in fact need airing sometimes... 

On top of all this BS, I also had to listen to some bullshit about my fibromyalgia. Apparently they treat "a lot of people" with fibromyalgia in particular, and it's of course all about emotional energies that need to be sorted. I was not exactly expecting some trite advice about my illness on top of the actual problem they were hear to sort out. She talked to me in a very patronising way, trying to get me to feel that I was "a very special person" and "very, very sensitive". She was sympathising "so deeply"  with all the difficulties I had been through and said I need no longer have a life of suffering. Apparently she knows it's time for me to have an easy life.  She was also saying she saw something to do with the Mediterranean, and that I really needed to go on a holiday. I am not interested in a holiday in the Meditarranen and think they said it just to get me out and about so I would think myself healed and thank my lucky star that I was guided to go travelling. I really have no spare energy for travelling. In this country, people are always thinking of cheap holidays by the Mediterranean, so it makes perfect sense. 

Because I'm so sensitive,  according to these people I really needed to be very "careful" what stuff I surround myself with. I was also told I needed lots of crystals to place around the house, not least an amethyst which would in fact "sort the energies" in the living room. I am not interested in crystals at all. I was also told I need to do smudging often and religiously. I am not sure where all the negative energy is supposed to be coming from as they had cleared it all out.  Then crystals are supposed to do some more good in a house that's been cleared. She was pointing at all the furniture in all corners of the room, and telling me just how forceful a negative field there was because of my antique furniture. She made a point about the idea that I don't need any stuff in order to rememberer my husband. What a presumptuous assumption! Besides, I have kept almost none of his stuff.

I also needed to "ground myself" a lot in nature and laugh as much as possible. I don't really know what grounding even means, as far as I'm concerned, I'm very much present in my own body and feel it all the time. I didn't have much of a choice than to just go along with all of this, as I had to give them the benefit of doubt. I also wanted to know what they were really thinking. Unfortunately the harasser was trying to prevent me from thinking clearly, so I couldn't think of more probing questions.

At the end, the two women came into the garden with their palms raised in front of them, dealing with purported negative energy along the pathway. Well, I would have thought the energy would have blown away in the wind.

These people didn't really volunteer any real information about their line of business. What they did say was that my smiley husband was around helping me out. Did he have a beard?, she asked, and I said yes, and she confirmed that he was bearded. In reality, he cut his beard off when he met me. According to them, there was also a tallish female spirit around from my father's side of the family who'd had ovarian cancer and who used to be "a hard working lady". Funny enough, I don't have any tallish deceased female family member with that type of ailment, nor was anyone on my dad's side particularly  hardworking. They were in fact all nobility! Even on my mom's side. And what is hardworking supposed to mean anyway? What kind of signifier is that?

Apparently my spirit friends/guides/relatives were very happy that the team was here sorting everything out and would now help me in way they had never been able to do previously. I'm not even sure I'm all that interested in the idea of being guided by some distant relative that I never met.  That says a lot about the team's abilities and very little about the abilities the spirits in the higher realms have. It does however also say a lot about their expectations as to how easy it is to mislead silly new age people who think they are under psychic attack. I don't know what they charged for all this, as my friend was eager to help me out and pay for it all. Initially, he said they weren't going to charge for this kind of thing, and that there would only be travelling expenses. When they were here, they did in fact make a point of saying that this is their day job. Apparently they go around rescuing people from spirit attacks every single day of the year. Given that I had to wait several weeks, they must be incredibly busy. It's funny how spirit rescue people always say that - four of them have already made that point.I would also like to add that I found out that the pushy psychic is partnered with with the man and they claim to be twin flames... does this sound a bit suspicious? For those who have missed it, the ideas surrounding twin flames are amongst the most persistent themes within the spiritual sphere today, and I can only assume they thought the idea would appeal to their customers. They looked nothing at all like twin flames, but then, who am I to say.

I think you know by now what I think of today's experience and the host of New Age cliches I've been offered. This is a complete fucking FORMULA!! There is a whole lot of weird mythology surrounding "negative energy" that is really based in the fear of not developing spiritually at an acceptable rate, and there are people who use this against us. In the end, the world is full of all sorts of energies and that's just part of living in a crammed space with a lot of other people.  I believe that the hysteria of protecting against negative energies is counter productive. I just can't help but laugh and cry all at once. It is so very easy to go along with belief systems that are being imposed by people who pretend to be an authority. I don't have any evidence that they were authorities at all, as it's all really hush hush, apparently. I am in fact an authority in my own right, but my intention is to unmask the truth and share my own experiences of the spiritual realm. This is a mine field of myths and misconceptions. Unfortunately, there is so much scope for money making schemes and manipulations when people are in a vulnerable position and trying to sort their lives out. I have written about this kind of thing in the past as well, so please have a look around my blog for other examples of the way people take advantage of seekers of spiritual truth. 

In the meantime, I am still stuck with the harasser and am not currently on good terms with my friend, who is adamant that the team must have rid me of my problem. I think that the only way to go is to carry on negotiating with the harasser about the usefulness of her endeavours. Last night, her tongue slipped and she admitted that she had read the Moomins when she was a child, which made her seem pretty mundane. After all, the Moomin stories are psychologically insightful and should have an effect on a developing mind. The Moomins also relate to my cultural background in a big way and what the harasser has to deal with when she's dealing with me. I started to think about the wonderful characters in those stories, not least The Groke and the Island Ghost. In spite of the terrible nature of the harassments, there is just something so ridiculous about the nonsensical stuff I have been subjected to, that I just can't help comparing my ghostly predators with these. In the end, laughter is the best remedy.

Read some viewpoints about the lower astral levels in this interesting article.

Saturday, 23 April 2016


I feel that I have a mission to tell my story, as there appears to be a huge increase in interest in the after life at this point in human history. My own investigations have shown me that myths and misconceptions abound, and as a scholar I feel that I am able to contribute to the unravelling of some objective truths about matters of spirit. 

One of the things I wish to highlight is that people can very easily be duped into playing along with spiritual mind games. It's easy enough to think that people who start channelling entities of dubious origin are just silly and too gullible for words. The truth is, that I fell for the manipulations myself. I was being followed and manipulated into trying my hand at automatic writing. As soon as I started to process the idea, they pushed me to take it up. I did hesitate, and then just went for it, and ended up channelling some weird shit for an entire month. Although I think this was meant to happen, I also have to admit that I was in some kind of trance like state for the duration of that particular phase in the games the spirits were playing with me. I bought into the idea that I was channelling my deceased husband, and that somehow got me hooked. I started to buy into all sorts of crazy ideas because I didn't realise that they were picking all the material for the channellings out of my own head. This was the basis from which they were weaving some stories about my spiritual mission and future life. I didn't understand that we have many more telepathic thoughts than the ones we repeat in our heads. I just could not conceive of the idea that spirits could dupe you so easily. They also bombarded me with stuff and psyched me up during the day even while I wasn't channelling. I just wasn't aware of it. It is true that they tired of their games after a month, so I am not in a position to say anything about channellings that go on for months and years. It's doubtful that spirits would have an interest in duping anyone for that long. Though at this point, is not for me to say whose channellings are genuine, I am interested in the phenomenon. I seem to have taken up my old interest in dismantling myths and misconceptions within the spiritual realm. There's stuff out there that I will probably deal with in future blog posts. For the time being, I want to underline the fact that channelling can be a dangerous pursuit for the very fact that people generally don't seem to understand the ways in which spirits can interact with us and lead us behind the light. In spite of my spiritual insights, I was as naive as everyone else. Though it's very embarrassing, I have to tell the truth. 

It's interesting, that I didn't feel my husband around that much after he passed away. I wonder whether he stepped back in order for the impostors to take over so that I would have an experience that I had signed up for. I think that on a few occasions when I thought he was around and listening to me, the person at the other end was in fact the bitch that I'm dealing with now. She was interested in my ability to hear her though it was still very difficult for me at that point. However, the one time I did feel that my husband and soul mate was communicating with me, was when I needed a new car. Counter to my own expectations, I managed to secure a substantial and very affordable loan for it. I then had a knowing that I should just relax and wait for the car to appear, and that I didn't even need to leave my home town in order to find it. When I went online, I couldn't find a single automatic car in the area. Then, as if by a miracle, a famous car dealer who was semi retired decided to help me as a friend's favour. He had lost his wife a couple of years earlier and felt sympathy for me. He came and sat in my kitchen, while quickly choosing a car for me on my iPad. He made it clear that I should just take it or leave it. The pictures were very poor but I trusted that this was meant to be, so I went for it. He then went and picked it up from an auction pretty far away, and dropped it at my front door. It was exactly the kind of car I had hoped for, and even though I had had no conscious preference regarding the colour, the colour was just right for me. It was only at that point that I realised that someone had changed the registry plate for one with two initials on it. One of the initials were those of my husband, MJH. 

I feel that this was a gesture from my my beloved husband, confirming that he was still in the background, but also a heck of a lot cleverer than any of the low lives that had started to harass me soon after he died. I think this only goes to show that you can in fact have some amazing abilities in the after life that involve manipulating the fabric of time. I feel that my perpetrators were meant to hear this story in order to help them see that their level of existence isn't all that great, and that there is more to their harassments than they themselves might think. Ironically, they have in fact been assisting the light, since I am now a great deal more informed about the spirit world than I was before, and able to put this information out there.

While the whole group of earthbound spirits were here, I felt that I was in intense training of sorts. I thought they were "professionals" and were making mistakes that I was able to take advantage of by practising discernment. It has become clear to me that they were just amateurs who were making things up as they were going along. They themselves were nonetheless surprised to see how they were offering me practise in mediumship, as all they were trying to do was to confuse my mind for the sake of a game. All this confusion was in fact what helped me learn about my own telepathic thoughts and to discern the layers of thoughts and voices in my head. While the last one has been chattering in my head for over a month, I have been able to become a lot more aware of my own telepathic thoughts. I can tell when she is picking them up and using them in her chatter, and when she is inserting some random elements that are either from her own mind or from other parts of my life. I can also predict her next line quite easily, as I can feel what is coming up based on what I just thought and what I can sense in the way she starts her sentence. It seems that somehow she projects her thoughts more strongly when she talks to me, so I can pick them up. I can't tell what she's thinking generally but I do get a premonition. Based on all this information, I am often able to predict her moves while she's bugging me at night. As long as she's with me, I will continue to pick her arguments and actions apart, as it gives me some sense of empowerment. Last night, in fact, I felt that I pretty much picked her last arguments apart and "blew her cover" (as she put it herself). The situation was as follows.

She was causing me stomach pains and keeping me in very shallow sleep for four hours. "I guess I believe that you should still suffer", she says. I point out that she is still using words as "guessing" and "believing", which are unconvincing. I am thinking that no one can be as heartless as this, not at this point, when the game is really over and she knows that I know she is just pulling acts. I have suffered from a chronic illness most of my life and severe insomnia for years and years. I have been pointing her game out for her now for so long that she is clearly very tired of keeping it up. She's like an old hag who persists in a really bad marriage, feeling she has to prove she is has the stamina of an ox. The hag would do this to cover up the fact that she is terrified that no one else will have her as she's so ugly and mean spirited. "I suppose it doesn't matter to me what happens to you", she says, and adds, "I'm trying to be as inhuman as possible". She seems to think that no one will believe this and will not trust that my story is true. But to me, this in fact just makes it more believable. I have to say, I couldn't make this up even if I tried. She excels in being manipulative and so she will stop at nothing. It's true that I can't recreate her game, but I hope that my examples are still illuminating and that people can see that mean spirited people can get very caught up in mind games when they no longer possess a physical body. 

She says "I'm testing your tolerance levels", but I am thinking that she is really testing her own. Being picked apart like this must be hard to bear, and she has to try even harder to prove that she "can take it". That is not mentioning the fact that she has to cling onto a person with an illness and a boring life, and listen in to another person's mind babble all around the clock. She has to "take it", of course, because she has to justify the fact that she's still here, and entertain herself while she's waiting for the spirit rescue team that should arrive tomorrow. (I expect that they will also confirm that she's around and that all this is real, unless she decides to take off before they arrive, of course). No one would have this kind of stamina unless it was a case of survival. I have to endure because I have to survive, and am not able to walk away from the relationship. This is a very strange situation for me, as I am someone who always used to walk away from abusive people. I am now forced to stay put and try and learn as much as I can from the situation at hand. She is, in other words, still trying to be as "impish" as possible, but is really only proving that she is anally retentive. She is basically proving her defeat as she has no more manipulative arguments to help cover up her actions. As a result, she has to resort to more and more inane actions. As I have spoken to her in the capacity of a perfectly normal person (not least during the channellings in the beginning of all this terror), the whole thing is now really as laughable as it gets. It must be the saddest life story in the history of humankind. 

I can't help thinking of an image in relation to her that came to me quite early on. I saw her in a potential future life as being an enormously obese woman who was being fed by a feeder. Perhaps it seems vengeful, but I can imagine her begging to be fed and him manipulating her eating habits. I guess this image came to me as a counterpart to the kind of actions she is now indulging in. On the one hand, she is already stuck in her mind scape. On the other, she is resisting the idea that she could be incredibly mobile if she wished to be. On top of that, I'm thinking what kind of karma these kinds of manipulations could lend her. In one way or another, she is going to attract an experience of being a victim of manipulations, and it is going to be something pretty extreme. There are teachers out there telling people that karma doesn't exist, but I tell you, cause and effect are the cornerstones of our evolutionary paths. I keep warning her about consequences. but she seems to think it doesn't matter because due to oblivion, she won't remember who she is. I am pointing out to her that she will remember in between reincarnations. 

In any case, she is no doubt en route towards a more spiritually enlightened existence as she is creating herself some heavy karmic burdens that will take a lot of effort to resolve. It's interesting to think that by ensnaring herself like this, she is in fact manipulating herself into a vortex of personal and spiritual development. I don't believe that there is any way she can resist that for very long, as challenges are connected to a soul's natural evolutionary progress. She knows very well what I am thinking, of course, and has to see my point. I am very sure she believes in it by now, though she still says "I'm trying to be as horrid as possible, taking my chances that it doesn't matter that much anymore". Sure, just squeeze a bit more and add a few more years of suffering to your karmic CV. Well, I guess one might think like that. But the fact of the matter is that she is just looking sadder and sadder, and who on earth can live with themselves when their ridicule is being ridiculed? There are no demons, only people who are truly lost in a mind game of their own making.

Tomorrow, I hope to have some positive news, as the spirit rescue team is due.
This is a testimony of spirit possession I've come across a couple of times on Facebook over the years, so I guess it can be called a classic.

Friday, 22 April 2016


"My" perpetrator is squeezing extra hard. I don't really like saying she's "mine", as that sounds too personal. This is not personal at all, as she's jumped on a person she didn't previously know and has absolutely nothing in common with. I should just call her "the perpetrator" and refer to her as an 'it", because she's a pretty sexless person that has no body to identify with. She doesn't seem to have much personality either, which is probably why she likes to channel herself through someone that is no doubt a bit more interesting than the average Jane. I have gotten the idea that she was a rather sad person in her previous life who was hiding behind a facade of clutter and body fat. Now that she's rid of that cumbersome body, she's really all mind, and as crazy as one can imagine that one could get when one is a mindless mind swirling around in space without any points of reference and any plans and projects for the future. 

They say that the physical realm holds a strange allure and that discarnate beings are keen to go back to experience physical sensations and learn more about life the hard way. Being stuck halfway between the physical and the spirit realm while desperately trying to prove that it's in fact a great place to be, must be truly awful. I can imagine just how bored and desperate she really is, though she is trying very hard to convince me that she wants to hang onto me for a very long time. I can't imagine anything worse than holding onto a sick and disabled person like myself, while making them feel even worse and having to put up with that as well. I have also started to talk to her in my mother tongue, and though she is capable of speaking it too (as spirits do, of course), it might reinforce the fact that she is truly out of place. She was British in her previous life and has clearly hung out close to her home. It's the only explanation for the fact she chose to torment someone who lives in a small town in the country side in an obscure part of Britain. It's ironic, that she's so mobile, yet has chosen to be stuck here in this small corner of the world for ages. I guess she's not interested in a trip around the world, though that seems like a more exciting prospect to me. It only goes to show how small minded she is. 

I have to conclude that she's just holding on for appearance's sake, whatever that's really supposed to mean. Of course, the obvious way of proving that you're evil is carrying on being evil. I keep saying OK, ok, we know you're evil, now can you stop trying to prove it? And at the moment she is not responding to that so well. She is really making me feel ill as she is inducing all sorts of pains and discomforts in my body. Last night she kept me awake for hours, trying to convince me that I can't sleep without pills. I don't really want to go into details as it's all rather gruesome, and I have my reasons for holding some information back in a public place like this at this point in time. Suffice to say that she is probably an unusual aggressor in that she is trying to prove that she has the stamina of an ox and is able to put up with my boring life just for the sake of appearances. I spend half the day in bed as she bugs me so much in my sleep, and the rest of the day is full of my mum's doctor's appointments and other menial tasks that I struggle with quite a bit. Yes, and in this family, we do talk about illnesses a lot. I bet it's a subject matter that is interesting to strangers.

I have no reason to believe that she was all that evil to begin with, but rather an ordinary person with a mean streak. However, now she is indulging in an evil practise and seems keen to go down a lonely path of extreme egotism. She is a stubborn person who doesn't want to listen to my reasoning and is trying to go against my advice in every conceivable way. She will, of course, try and refute what I'm writing at the moment too, but then again, she already knows what I'm thinking and so I might as well carry on writing. I just keep reminding her that she will have to deal with a difficult karma for a very long time to come. I am not going to sugar coat the truth and feel that it's the best way to explain to a mean person why tormenting others like this is a bad idea. 

She is often talking about a community of like minded people in limbo, but the truth is that there aren't really all that many people around who want to remain in this kind of non existence. There is of course no "gathering place" for them either, and so it seems clear that she had to hunt high and low in order to recruit the other five members of her team. I can only assume that she was a regular attendee at funerals all over the country. That makes me laugh! What an exciting life she's been leading. It  kept her busy throughout the year while she was stalking me and scheming to get me to start channelling her and whoever else she managed to find. Although they were all mean spirited as well, they did leave one by one before my health started to deteriorate. She is the one who is not just in it for the game, but also trying to prove something about evil spirits, and is also the one who appears the most pathetic and self destructive as a result. She is behaving like a flat cartoon character and trying to hide the fact that she is a multifaceted person like everyone else. In any case, it's doubtful that other evil people are cheering her on as they are surely to selfish and preoccupied with their own schemes to bother with hers. 

Life is about contrast and it's true that I have realised a lot of things about myself in this process. This aggressor's evil intentions make me realise that I am all in all a good person, as I refuse to resort to vengeful arguments. Last night it occurred to me that as I am somewhat more evolved than her, I might even end up as her spirit guide in one of her incarnations. That made me laugh as I would of course try and make sure that she stayed on a spiritual path, which is not what she thinks she wants at this point in time. I, however, think she was drawn to me for a spiritual reason. I am quite sure that she will volunteer to suffer some serious difficulties in the future as she will be hell bent on understanding evil and what it really means to humans. The reason is that this is how humans evolve. So many people on Earth are suffering, and they have chosen these lives themselves before they were incarnated. In fact, most people suffer to some extent, though it's also clear that some have put themselves in excruciating circumstances for some deeper reason of learning. Something compels them to go through a lot of challenges. The path of evil is so lonely and gruesome, that people will eventually want to turn away from it and take desperate measures to find their way back to a loving communion with other people. This involves helping and serving others. Love is the glue that holds everything together, and without it, our lives tend to fall apart. This is an illusion that we play out the way we play out a dream, but it's a compelling illusion nonetheless. The question is, how long we want to play out a negative life scenario and how many consequences we wish to deal with as a result. I can't imagine a more terrible life path than that of holding someone captive and tormenting them night and day like she is doing at present.

The whole point of living in a world of contrast is that we start to seek the light when we have been walking the path of darkness for a while. You need to experience evil in order to turn away from it. Suffering is a way of understanding what the good life is really about, but it is also a way of dealing with negative karma. There are always other people who can help creating some suffering in your life, and so we take turns in order to make the wheel of life go around. The aggressor will not be able to avoid this "vicious circle", which is in fact a spiral that takes us further up the path of self realisation. Although I suffer a great deal at the moment, I am also confident that this experience has helped me rid myself of some negative karmic burdens that I was still carrying around. Once it's gone, it's gone. This is why I am not as depressed as one would expect, in spite of the fact that I am being tormented 24/7. I can see the good "normal" things in life a lot more clearly. I am used to a life of suffering and know deep down that it is part of my learning curve and a way for me to free myself of illusions. I also hope to help others through the insights I have acquired.

The song  "The Windmills of Your Mind" has been on my mind all this time. So on a funny note, here's a version from the muppet show that illustrates just how convoluted my perpetrator's mind is.

Thursday, 21 April 2016


My earth bound aggressor is still stuck on me as she seems to be eager to meet the spirit release team on Sunday. She will, of course, put up a token battle spiced with specially formulated manipulative arguments for appearance's sake. They will attempt to assist her into the light, and so she will either try and resist it, or allow herself to be lead by the hand. I don't believe anyone wants to be an earthbound spirit for very long, as you have very little to do in a world that you no longer belong to and can't engage with very much. You have superpowers that are of no real use as you can no longer do anything that would bring you satisfaction within the worldly realm. Some spirits remain behind out of habit or because they don't want to leave a loved one behind. I have heard stories of elderly people talking to their deceased spouses on a daily basis and wonder whether the spouse might have remained earthbound in order to keep their partner company. Apart from this scenario, the only other reason to remain behind seems to be the urge to hassle the living and enhance your ego with the idea of holding special powers that you could not have dreamt of while you were alive.

You would assume that a truly evil person had a host of enemies to harass rather than some random spiritually minded person like myself. The fact that she has been around me for so long seems to suggest that she simply can't think of anywhere else to go, nor that she has any kind of sordid agenda to work for the dark and try and prevent the light of spiritual people to shine. She would most certainly be more in a hurry to bug others if this was the case as lights are being turned on all over the world at this point in time. These are times of inner change for a lot of people.

It appears that you can catch these spirits here and there in various localities in the physical world, and so unless you believe in destiny and karma, then attracting them is a question of chance. She's an intellectual challenge for someone like me who has studied manipulative jargon in the past, and so it makes me wonder whether this encounter was in the books. The situation is getting very tedious for both of us, as it seems she's pretty bored with me at this point in time. Still she is determined to hang in there and try and prove something or other about her evil intentions while she's waiting to see what the spirit rescue team is going to do about her case. I guess she's trying to get me hooked on the idea of the Stockholm's syndrome. It's just another aspect of her manipulations and not really worth reporting. Having said that - if I do report it, then I am proving to her that I am still interested in her manipulations, and if I don't, then she has managed to manipulate me into not reporting them. This convoluted train of thought should demonstrate the way she is entertaining herself. In the end, I just have to try and get something out of the situation regardless what she feels I should do. 

This relentless bitch is trying very hard to control my mind and my body, but luckily, it's not easy to do that when someone is conscious of what is going on. She makes me feel quite ill by inducing more pain in my tummy, which is already prone to being painful and bloated. She also keeps weighing me down energetically and can make it hard for me to think more clearly. In the day time, she can be chatty in a normal sort of way and even make me laugh when she says something silly. At night, however, she is clearly bored out of her mind. As a result, she amuses herself by trying to direct my dreamscape. Perhaps she thinks that she can plant subliminal messages in my mind and that this will change who I am and how I act out my own life on a conscious level, but so far, I haven't noticed any effects. I don't believe it's that easy to control a person's personality, especially not when the relationship is not all that real. What I mean by that is that it's not a love based relationship and there is no shared interests in the worldly realm. It's really a one way street in the sense that I can hardly relate to her at all, as I know very little about her and have no frame of reference for her person in the 3D world. All I know about her is that she is always insincere, or is at least trying very hard to come across as such. On a number of occasions she has asked "I don't suppose you're interested in who I was", as if she's desperate for some attention from me, but also hellbent on proving that she is not going to reveal anything about her former self whatsoever (she seems to be thinking, "haha, please just ask so I can say fuck you, I'm not going to tell!"). She really is just a ghost in every sense of the word. I try and remind her of this and the fact that she does have an existence to look forward to in "Heaven". I guess she thought she was special for resisting it, when most people are probably smart enough to understand that there is something much better to be had when you do cross over and leave the earthly plane behind. Although there will be consequences for her actions in one way or another, the heavenly realms are not punitive per se and she can create a real life for herself over on that side, once she is no longer attached to her former self. There is a frame of reference in those dimensions that makes sense to those who no longer have a physical body. Because of being neither one nor the other, the situation an earthbound spirit finds itself in is all in all pretty pathetic. I think she has realised that this kind of existence is not all that desirable, and unless she carries on proving how tenacious she can be, she will probably go into the light some time quite soon. I don't think she is keen on trying it on with a new victim as she seems to have found that it's not a very satisfying "line of business". She has to put up with a heck of a lot of boredom and a person she is not on her wavelength at all. Having said that, she seems fascinated with the fact that I'm her opposite in so many ways. 

At night, she is so bored and eager to chat, that she has to wake me up often with the excuse that I should remember the dreams she has been messing with. Sometimes she keeps me awake for a couple of hours just to chat. Of course, there is not really any sense in what she's doing, generally speaking. She is just someone who likes to defy all logic and "take the piss of that which is sacred". That includes my health and general well being, of course.

She's messing with my dream scape every single night, and that has gotten me to think about our dreams. I was very adept at analysing dreams when I was young, and learnt to understand that there is a logic involved that comes from your own subconscious mind. I recreated some of this logic in my art work back in the 1990s. If someone comes in and messes with your dreams, they are not very likely to understand how it all works and so are not able to recreate any real logic. The events in the dream are going to be random occurrences and appear disjointed and illogical. What I realised, however, was that they may not be quite as important to our well being as some psychologists might think. Once you no longer have a body, you no longer sleep or dream. The earth bound spirits still carry their mental and emotional energy bodies around but don't have a need for sleep. This seems to suggest that dreams are important in terms of reorganising the connection between our emotional selves and physical bodies.  They help us process our emotions, of course, but this is not necessarily quite so crucial in the short term. It's possible, of course, that the lack of a dreamscape is damaging her mental self, as she is not supposed to remain in this half-state for long. She has been inserting all sorts of thoughts and images into my dreamscape for quite some time now, and I can't say that it has any great bearing on how I deal with my conscious life. 

She is able to direct me while I'm asleep, as I'm unconscious and unable to resist her suggestions. This is uncanny and may have given her some kind of buzz for a while, but in the long term, it must be quite uninteresting to deal with another person's dreams. What happens to me while I'm unconscious doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on my conscious life, and so her interference is pretty harmless. 

How it seems to work is that I start to dream something, and she is able to see that in her own mind by connecting to mine. For her, it's basically like watching a film strip playing out. She can then start directing it by suggesting that I see people or events that she knows of, and then she will tell me how to feel about the sequence. She can also insert images and infuse me with certain feelings and bodily sensations. The dreams are taking place in my own mind and not on the astral level, as that would mean that she would in that case be part of a world of my own making. She could probably project an image of herself into the dream if she wanted to, but she doesn't want to make herself known. Normally, when you dream of people that you know, they are not there in the real but are symbolic representations of characteristics that you attribute to them. I don't seem to be travelling to other astral realms during the sleep either.

She has tried to prey on my fears,  for instance the fear of going bald. Dreams are, of course, amongst other things a way of expressing fears, and so all she's doing is just help me acknowledge my fear. On the other hand, you have to have a real fear that comes from deep within, in order for it to really make an impression. These fears are connected to our sense of survival in the physical realm. Theoretically, the presence of these spirits in my life and what they have done to me could give me post traumatic stress disorder, but that might only show after she has left. I think the fact that I am conscious of her manipulations is guarding me against any serious psychological damage at least for the time being.

In my dream scape, I'm basically like a puppet on a string. However, dreams aren't quite that real when it comes right down to it. In my conscious life, I am in control of my emotional states and am able to rationalise the threats that are being placed upon me.

The image above is a collage I made in 2011, called "Insomnia". It is strange how I imagined a situation where a woman is having experiments conducted on her. I have included brainwaves that peep through from behind a wallpaper, symbolising the idea that something is being revealed. The atmosphere is one of menace. I have never suffered from nightmares in all of my life, probably because I process my emotional and mental self during my waking hours.

Tuesday, 19 April 2016


The main thing to remember if you do get occupied by earthbound spirits through some form of spirit communication is that they are probably only in it for the game. Some of them have put some effort into their schemes and so may wish to remain for a while in spite of your best efforts to put up some personal boundaries. These discarnate people have figured out that they can manipulate people thanks to their ability to read people's telepathic thoughts before they become conscious thoughts. They can think and act at the speed of lightning and this is where they are able to confuse people's minds. It takes a long time to learn just how convoluted the process can become, and this is of course something I have had the opportunity to study as they remained with me for an unusually long period of time (one being still attached to me). They were clearly fascinated with my way of analysing the situation as I want to understand what is going on, but if you try not to engage with them in the way they are trying to get you to engage, they are likely to stay for a much shorter period of time. It has become a bit of a double sided coin for me and I can only assume that I was meant to have this experience and gain the understanding I have. I don't personally believe in coincidence, and so even though I am an innocent victim and have experienced a lot of trauma as a result of the occupation, I also feel that I needed it in order to understand the fabric of reality a great deal better than before. 

As I have demonstrated in previous posts, there are all sorts of ways in which these ghosts can manipulate a person. One way is to confuse people's minds and another is to try and manipulate their energies in order to make them feel off. All in all, they wish to get reactions that they think are going to be entertaining. You therefore need to keep in mind that they are very likely just ordinary people who are making fools of themselves. If you start listening in to their arguments, you'll find that it's all completely and utterly inane, and that they are really only creating themselves a negative karma in the process. They don't understand what they are dealing with while manipulating the fabric of reality and abusing other people's right to privacy. They are digging their own graves, as this is really a practise of black magic in many ways and not something that passes unnoticed in the big scheme of things. They are making it up as they are going along and may get carried away by the sense of power they seem to think they hold over incarnate people. As long as you don't believe that they can change who you are and hold onto your integrity, they really can't do very much substantial harm. The best thing to do is to see it for the inane game it is, and to dismantle their efforts. The threats may be horrid, but they are hollow. Realise, that they don't usually have that much of an interest in living your life on a day to day basis. This means that they tend to get bored and annoyed just by having to be attached to you! Therefore the best thing to do is to make their experience as boring and annoying as possible. They also cannot keep the mask all the time and so you might be able to get them to laugh at the whole thing and reveal that they are only humans after all.

They are enjoying the fact that they can confuse you and conjure up all sorts of narratives and scenarios that make it impossible for your mind not to get caught up. There is provocation of all sorts that you simply cannot help but to respond to in your mind. They might try and get you to do stuff, but this is where you have to resist and realise that the manipulation can be very subtle and that your best bet is to learn to be very discerning with the thoughts and images that creep up in your head. You also need to discern between your own feelings and bodily sensations, and the ones they are trying to inject.

One must keep in mind that these people no longer belong in the world, and thus have no invested interest in it whatsoever. All their threats and provocations exist for the sake of the game they are playing for their own amusement. Most of them will get bored very quickly if you don't play along and don't buy into their intimidations. They can read you like a book and so trying not to show fear is not the answer. You must realise that they are likely to be ordinary people and that there is nothing to fear. For them, the efforts they have to put in are substantial, and so they expect a quick pay off. If you treat them like the idiots they really are rather than buying into the idea of demonic entities, they are likely to leave you sooner rather than later. Keep in mind, that they also have to put up with your life if they are attached to you energetically, and the more boring and mundane your life is, the more annoyed they will get with it and leave. Dealing with someone else's life while you no longer have a body to enjoy yourself is not all that great! The downside is that they have a lot of time on their hands and don't have to sleep or eat. The reason I still have an attachment is that is that I attracted an unusually stubborn person who is intent on keeping the show going even though she keeps revealing more and more about herself and the name of her inane game. She is a dreadful chatterbox and entertains herself by trying to figure out more ways in which to confuse my mind. She doesn't succeed in anything but looking like a fool. As I keep deconstructing her arguments, she intermittently tries to shut up until she gets carried away again. Although she can try and prevent me from thinking clearly, she usually lets me get on with this writing out of curiosity and general boredom. It's interesting, that the spirit rescue team is still a fair number of days ahead. In the meantime, I keep counselling her about her actions and making her think about her future. She is hanging in there because she is curious about the rescue team and interested in manipulating them as well, but I also think she is genuinely worried about going into the light and owning up to all her transgressions. She is, after all, the one who initiated the occupation of my person.

This person's game is to try and defy all logic, which includes resisting adult responsibility and trying to confuse my cards. It is really a case of pure obstinacy. She enjoys the fact that I keep wrecking my brain in order to see a reason for her attachment and coming up with more reasons why this is a really bad idea for all concerned. She is still doing this for the sake of appearances, as she doesn't want to let on that she was an ordinary person in her previous life. Although she is going to lose herself in a maze of self inflicted suffering as a result of all this, she is unwilling to give up the idea that she can control another person. She is nonetheless consciously ego driven, which means that she does have the power to end all this nonsense whenever she wants to. I am her mirror and so she is at this point the argument that she just doesn't know how to stop is invalid. She really just needs to get a grip like everyone else. This is why I say it's just obstinacy and a way of distracting herself from the reality of her own self destruction.

A koan is a nonsensical riddle that the Japanese Zen masters use in order to point to the idea that there is no logical explanation for our existence. They often point to paradoxes. That is not to say there aren't logical laws in place within the Universe, and that there is a reason for all actions within it. Because of the dual nature of our reality, there is always a paradox involved. Every situation in life is paradoxical - if you do this then that happens and when that happens, some other event occurs that balances it out, and so forth. The koan of my situation is that I have an occupant who is trying to live my life while distracting herself from her own. She hardly has any thoughts of her own as she is running a constant commentary on my thoughts and actions. She risks losing her sense of self in the process. At the same time, her actions are ego driven and so she is desperately trying to build her own ego by doing what she is doing. Her whole life seems to depend on the idea that she has to prove herself special in some way. Somewhere behind all her mind babble, she is aware of her self and the fact that no one really wants to lose touch with themselves. My life is a stranger's life that she doesn't really want other than in a very superficial way. The irony is, that she is being imbued with my spiritual values and world view, and way of living my life, and will never be able to get rid of the memory of me. My life style and priorities in life will haunt her forever. This is a deeply paradoxical situation.

In a sense, my "revenge" on her is that she will probably be so deeply influenced by my spiritual outlook that in the future, she will most likely inadvertently start seeking spiritual counselling even when she no longer has a conscious memory of all this. The fact that our reincarnations may not be linear is beside the point. She has tried manipulating my mind but in actual fact, she's been manipulating her own, as I have merely acted as a mirror to her. On top of this, she is intent on winning a game that cannot have a winner, only a loser. I have not volunteered to enter a game that she is trying to get me to play, and as she has occupied me and I cannot do the same to her, she is really the sole player. I cannot resist something that someone imposes upon me in this manner, but I do refuse to use her weaponry of threat and deceit. In this situation, I can only really use my mind in order to learn what I want to learn from this, and mirror her inane manipulations back at her in a neutral way. She is trying to control me but I am not trying to control her. The game is not on an equal footing and so in actual fact, there is no competition. Since there is no competition, there is no winner. Because she is occupying me, she is also the one that has to lose in the end as the situation cannot go on forever. She is trying to make it seem as it will go on forever just to prove a point, but of course there has to be an end at some point or another. It should be sooner than later, of course. This is hardly worth all her efforts, and by persisting, she is just proving to me how stupid she is, over and over again. There is nothing very clever about this kind of behaviour as the manipulations follow a certain pattern. Even when she disrupts the pattern, it is predictable. This is how well I have learnt to read her mind. There is nothing in it for her other than the idea that she must keep proving that she can confuse me. The sad thing is, the longer she carries on, the more she will be entrenched in negative emotions such as guilt and remorse. Because I keep disarming her and pointing her game out to her and just how silly her game is, she is not able to enter the illusion of hatred and jealousy. In addition, she knows me too well to hate me. I feel strongly, that we can really only hate what we don't know so well and nourish the hatred in the privacy of our own minds by twisting our perception of reality. She keeps thinking of giving up the act in order to reinstate a sense of self and carry on with her own existence as she is not at this point getting any real rewards from this occupation. It is a dreary existence for her, although the element of familiarity seems to be another reason why she is clinging onto me for dear life. She is deeply entangled in the games of her own mind and the conflicting emotions she must be experiencing beneath her facade of indifference and cool. I don't believe for a second that she is as toughened up as she pretends to be. She is trying to postpone the point of exhaustion and "defeat". Defeat in the traditional sense doesn't exist because this is not a competition. The case in point is that she just has to make her mind up as what to do next. Defeat in this context only means that she has to give up her game and face what she has truly lost in the process of stalking and occupying me. In this sense she is a loser. She has betted her own happiness and peace of mind for the sake of a stupid game, since there will be serious consequences of this kind of terrorism and will feel the effects of her actions for a very long time to come. She cannot defeat the defeat, of course. Due to the way she herself has chosen to play the game, that is by occupying an intelligent person's mind, she is being made fully conscious of her own actions. She therefore has no excuse.

Here is another example of her reasoning: She had a bright idea to let me sleep for four hours, then keep me awake for four hours, and making me sleep throughout the day. I was able to foresee this when she woke me up and said I would not accept it even if I had to suffer from sleep deprivation. I then showed her the consequences of my possible sleep deprivation and it was not really a very attractive option from her point of view while she is following me around. She went on to saying she would still prevent me from sleeping the following night and said "I guess you'll have to beg for mercy". For one, saying "I guess" all the time is not very convincing. For another, the phrasing is really inane as it's so cliched. She then says "I'll be causing you a lot of harm, which is of course what I want". She then retracts, "except that it isn't, of course" because we both know that she hesitates to go that far. She then goes onto trying to prove to me that it doesn't matter to her if I am sleep deprived for days on end as she doesn't care that I suffer nor that she has to put up with it while attached to me. "It's just another phase of the game", is her excuse. This should be sooo exciting for her. As a result of my comment, she feels she needs to prove that she doesn't really care for the excitement. She thinks in terms of the ultimate control over my life, of course. She admits that there isn't much fun in it for her. She then blurts out, "EXCEPT..!", ready for another round of chatter in which she tries to prove that she is doing out of a twisted sense of duty to the cause. She is in fact caught up in her own vicious circle, like a dog chasing its own tail. There are no universal laws that she can break in the process. It all goes back to her and her obstinacy.

While she is undecided about her own life, I still have to suffer quite a bit as she is still harming me. She is holding me down energetically speaking and still messing with my sleep. I have no privacy and find it hard to communicate with other people while she is trying to confuse me. On the other hand, I am trying to figure out how all this is possible in the first place as she is attached to me 24/7, and have in a way, someone to bounce my own thoughts off of as well. Since she usually cannot help commenting on my thoughts, I get to see them more clearly. There are a lot of ridiculous myths and misconceptions  about this kind of stuff on the Internet and so it is interesting to find how this aspect of reality and our human experience really works in practice. It is also good to keep in mind that there is a distinct difference between earthbound spirits and the attachment to people and objects that can happen due to simple negative thought forms.

One of the few professional looking websites that I have found about spirit attachment and spirit release is this one by Dr Alan Lindsay Sanderson.

Friday, 15 April 2016


What I am about to talk about is not a figure of my imagination. I wish to share this experience because I believe that I am by no means the only one who has to deal with harassments from the lower astral level. Unfortunately, there may well be a trend amongst some manipulative and mean spirited newly deceased people to go and harass people who are able to communicate with them in some way. People who are clairaudient like myself are particularly prone to attacks and should be extremely careful about channelling any kind of spiritual material unless they are 100% sure that it is safe. I personally question the idea that you offer a simple prayer for protection as we are not just dealing with some formless negative energy that can easily be warded off. In the following post I will go into some detail about how earthbound spirits are able to manipulate people in physical bodies.

Imagine six strangers who break into your home while you’re living in it, and refuse to leave. This is what happened to me. The occupiers just happen to be invisible, able to levitate and move through any physical obstacle. In addition, they are endowed with an array of extra sensory perceptions including telepathic thought that is as fast as lightning, the ability to move from one place to another in a matter of seconds, the ability to pick up all my internal imagery and dreams, and ability to project thoughts and images into my head. They can also pick up thought forms from the ether and project them into my mind in various ways. These include musical compositions and songs. They have also been able to seek out the thought forms of little demons, which may be mindless, but still appear very real when placed in a dream scape. They are able to inject me with various physical sensations and feelings and mess with my energies. In addition, there are some techniques that I cannot disclose at this point in time.. They intuitively understand any language spoken on Earth and are able to speak them fairly well if they concentrate hard enough. They can do all this simply by focusing their minds.

I have been stripped of all privacy and the right to my own thoughts and actions. I have been put in the most humiliating position anyone can possibly imagine. These invaders know everything there is to know about me and my daily life, as they follow me everywhere and hear every thought that comes out of my head. They are voyeurs that watch me undress, go to the toilet and shower. They see me naked as I am, with all the most embarrassing details of my body that only a chosen few should be allowed to see. They listen into ever little thought that goes through my head about my own health issues, my insecurities regarding my body, my daily tasks, my thoughts about other people, various social topics that cross my mind, my belief system and philosophical ideas, and so on. 

They are able to pick up my telepathic thoughts and quickly make sense of them even when they are a bit muddled, string them into sentences and run a constant commentary on my life and thoughts. I have to listen to all this as I am able to hear them very well. They are able to pry into my life by asking subliminal questions that my mind is unable to resist, and so I will invariably give them an answer before I realise that I have done so. The fact that they can pick up my telepathic thoughts like this makes them seem a great deal more intelligent than they actually are. It took me a long time to become more aware of my own telepathic thoughts as we tend to repeat them in our heads and don’t normally realise how much information the original thought contains in comparison. The predators have the stamina for incessant chatter that confuses and drowns my own thoughts. 

There are layers of thought involved as there is my telepathic thought as well as the expression of that thought as a sentence in my head, their own thought, the commentary they run on my thought, the repetition of that commentary that I run in my own head, and then the reply I may offer in response to the commentary that may be the start up of another round of chatter. On top of this, they can confuse my train of thoughts so that I stumble on words, as well as block the natural flow of thoughts so that I feel unable to think as clearly as I would normally do. As you can imagine, they pick on my insecurities and are able to question and confuse my memory in various ways. Some are verbally manipulative whereas others are more interested in instilling fear through the manipulation of energies. The one thing to keep in mind is that they are individuals, each with their own preferences that they wish to express through their actions. If you get several on your case, you may have to deal with different types of harassment.

Since they are removed from the necessity of complying with physical reality, they feel they have endless amounts of time. They no doubt lose a sense of time, and are able to wait idly for hours while hovering in space. Of course, all this appears ludicrous from the point of view of a normal, embodied person. After nearly 11 weeks of occupation, my world view has radically shifted to include a comprehensive understanding of the state of being of a disembodied person. I have taken advantage of the situation I have found myself in by trying to listen in and learn as much as possible about this kind of existence. 

These are not ghosts who are lost and unable to find their way to "the light" and progress into the higher astral realms that we call Heaven. These are fully conscious human beings who are deliberately staying behind in order to manipulate people in the 3D reality by using all the uncanny abilities they have acquired upon their physical death. Since they are still tied to their mental and emotional bodies, their personalities are locked into a firm place that doesn’t allow for any deeper understanding of reality. Their world view is as limited as it was when they were alive. This is why they are able to act out such an array of negative emotions and narrow minded belief systems. They need to be dealt with as humans with troubled minds and a distorted world view. They think they can get away with this kind of harassment because there is no police force that can prevent them. They should be reminded that the fact they have all these powers while remaining in a state of invisibility may seem cool from their point of view, but that it is in fact still a very limited state of being. Once you transition to the higher levels, you will have many more interesting abilities, not least the ability to dream up your own reality in a much more profound way. 

There is nothing interesting about remaining earthbound as you have no real community to rely on, and no real way of engaging with the physical reality. All you can do is mess with people's heads but even that is not very satisfactory as people generally speaking do know their own minds. These people are generally speaking deluded about this. My perpetrators wanted to try out a lot of ideas on me, but soon found that nothing really worked for them. All they really achieved was a whole lot of negative karma that will act as a negative consequence when the time is right. They need to be informed about this so I would urge those who find themselves occupied to explain this to them as well as possible. There may be some ideas in my previous posts as I tried to demonstrate my way of dealing with all this from a psychological point of view.

These disembodied spirits are all individuals who were probably quite ordinary. Some may have deeply imbedded negative emotional conditioning. A spiteful and arrogant stance is usually derived from childhood trauma and other unhappy circumstances. They may, on the other hand, have had very boring lives and are taking revenge on that. Either way, they are captives of their own twisted imagination and ego driven desires. In this state of disembodiment, they are projecting all their shadows onto the living without much inhibition. It is easy for them to get carried away. As they are not tied to a social framework that exerts a certain amount of control over individuals, they think they can get away with spewing out all their negative tendencies and emotional baggage without any consequences. A mind that is deeply entangled in itself and able to act at the speed of lightning must be a great deal harder to tame than one that is tied to a physical framework. 

It’s very important to make them realise just how destructive and nonsensical their actions are. They need to be persuaded to take responsibility for their actions and the best way to do this is to remind them that they are humans. On the one hand, all humans have some degree of conscience, and some understanding of propriety. One has to remember that they are humans and still able to relate to human existence, even though they may wish to try and ignore it and play by their own rules. 

Since they live a parasitic life that involves following living people around and connecting telepathically with their minds, they will increasingly lose touch with reality and who they once were while in a physical body. This is why they may appear demonic and why I think that many of the demons encountered in folklore and mythology have in fact been discarnate humans from the lower astral level.

These are humans who have no invested interest in the 3D world and don't in fact have any real excuse for the kind of actions they are pursuing. All their threats are hollow as they are only in it for the game. I succumbed to some of their threats and intimidations, and deleted some of my writing about them and their games before I realised that it was better not to give in at all. I refused to delete my hard drive, for instance, because I could see that it was just a means of extortion with the aim of intimidating me. If they wanted to carry on with their games, they would do so regardless whether I succumbed to threats or not. One of them even threatened to rape me in the astral level but I stayed awake as a matter of principle until he got bored and left. A rape threat is already a serious offence and shouldn’t be tolerated even if it doesn’t mean anything in practice. 

The woman who stayed behind when all the others had left pretended to be a man and started to threat me with rape as well, but that only went to show just how desperate she was to continue to play her power games. As I listen very carefully to the way they phrased themselves, I was able to point out to her not only that I recognised that she was nagging about it like a woman. She also forgot that I have a deformed spine and made a fool of herself by talking about taking me from behind. I have also tried to make it more than evident that I have a private life behind the closed doors of the bathroom that no one has the right to see, and that any human being would find very embarrassing to be part of. I knew I had no where to hide so I made a point of grossing them out with bodily fluids and the actions I have to take in order to deal with my dysfunctional body. I made it evident that I am chronically ill, have a deformed spine and have struggled with serious health issues all my life with the hope that it would evoke a flicker of compassion. I also placed nasty imagery in their heads and that seemed to have some effect on their desire to be around me. Especially the men who had an interest in sexual harassment were deterred when I reminded them of female troubles of the nether region and played with the castration anxiety that you can assume most men are prone to. 

The more you listen, the more you realise just how ridiculous their arguments are. When it comes right down to it, it is all completely and utterly ludicrous, and you might even get them to laugh if you're able to rise above the circumstances a bit. This happened to me and my perpetrators on a few occasions when I got them to lose their thread. They really betrayed themselves as ordinary British people at that point, as they couldn't help seeing what I saw. I also used to start singing and dancing around when they were in the middle of serious minded intimidations. I instinctively knew that they were not half as bad as they pretended to be. I would say that the best thing is to get everyone to laugh at the stupid discourse, pretences and endless contradictions.

They need to see that they would not like for themselves or their loved ones to go through this kind of experience. They need to be reminded that they will eventually feel remorse when they are able to contemplate the full extension of their actions. We are emotional beings and though we can repress our emotions for a while, we can't do that indefinitely. The fact that they play mind games, try and manipulate your feelings, cause fear and threaten to take your life or even rape you are serious offences. However, they can create physical and energetic imbalances that may be hard to rectify. Most people don't want to cause physical harm and so should be reminded that messing with people's energies may not be an innocent past time.

They should be reminded that they could "miss the boat" as their friends and families in the astral levels may be planning to reincarnate and might have to leave them behind. They should also be reminded that people in the higher realms are of finer vibrations and therefore invisible to them. They are most certainly being watched by friends and families who are on the higher astral planes, and are in fact embarrassing themselves. They may also think that they can get away with their trickery because no one is coming to take them away or help the victim, but this is because we have free will and are allowed to play out some sordid games for purposes of learning. It is not that different from the way it works in physical reality, except for the fact that there is no actual punishment in the other realms. The karmic forces will ensure that they do suffer the appropriate consequences, but sooner or later they will also have to do a life review that will help them feel what their victims felt. They should be reminded that this is inevitable, but also that they will be treated in a benevolent manner. 

There are other reasons for people to remain earthbound for a while, and many of these reasons are benevolent. These ghosts should nonetheless be encouraged to move on, because they are not in a natural state of being and could involuntarily harm themselves and the living they have decided to hang around. Their sense of self will become increasingly distorted and they will cause themselves some serious harm.

Throughout this experience, I’ve been reminded of the deeper layers of my spiritual worldview, and how I have successfully navigated my life in spite of extreme hardship. I was intent on using this experience to my advantage so that I could report about it and learn to be more discerning about the spirit communication. My perpetrators became, in fact, fascinated with my life story, and started to encourage me to tell them about it. It became apparent to them that I dodged a great deal of complicated situations through the use of my intuition and trust in my personal path. They could see that they were gravely mistaken about my personality and that it seemed as though I’d “been in training” for the kind of challenge they were putting me through. I was able to dodge their manipulations even when they were incredibly intense, and take advantage of all the negativity. Not only was I reminded of my complex life story but I also realised just how "cunning" I can be in a peaceful and non confrontational way. I felt very much lead by intuition and inspiration. 

Energetically, I coped reasonably well for a while. It seems that they were involuntarily giving me some of their own energy, and that they were trying not to overdo the harassments at night to a point where I would succumb to exhaustion. They wanted to make sure that I was fun to play with during the day. They wanted to ensure that my thoughts would remain as clear as possible so that they would have less trouble following them and retaining the illusion that they were cleverer than they actually were. They made increasing mistakes as time went on, as they didn’t seem to know when to stop. When they game started to dissolve, they revealed themselves as not being very bright at all and that their intellectual arguments were derived from the telepathic thoughts in my own mind. What remained was mostly manipulative jargon that became quite predictable. Not only did it sound inane and hollow, but it was also apparent that it was only meant to confuse and intimidate. I kept deconstructing all of it and this annoyed the hell out of them. 

The woman who had been stalking me for a year prior to all this was the one who remained after the others finally left. She was also the most verbally manipulative of them all and therefore the hardest to handle as she bombarded me with complicated arguments and excuses for staying on.  She would talk to me in a normal manner sometimes because she couldn't keep the game going 24/7, but then all of a sudden turn around and become viscous again. She would use all my thoughts as fuel for her manipulations. The longer she kept on going, the more obvious it became to me that none of her arguments were sincere. She would, for instance, use the fact that I wanted to make sense of their games as material for manipulation by trying to make me believe that there really was no sense in any of her games at all and that she was carrying on for the heck of it. Any theory that I came up with was fuel for further manipulations. She kept promising to leave but always found an excuse to stay. After a while she was even trying to make me feel that she was an impish spirit who was only in it out of stupidity, as I had made a point that she had no real reason for staying but was acting out of stupidity and making it up as she was going along. She kept telling me that I must understand how mean and evil she is, which in itself revealed that she didn't really believe in it that much herself. She was trying very hard to convince herself as well, and might of course have succeeded to some extent since she kept finding excuses to stick around and harass me some more. 

When she felt less able to get to me through her mind games, she became more aggressive at night when I was defenceless. She would simply not let me get sufficient amounts of sleep and kept me awake by preventing me to doze off. As soon as she saw that I started to have random thoughts, memories and images in my head during the first phase of sleep, she would startle me in one way or another. She messed around with my nervous system and raced my heart. There are things she has done that I shouldn't divulge at this point. On top of that, she harassed me energetically during the day so that I felt even heavier, energetically closed off, cognitively impaired, and ill. She would hassle me with stressful energies and cause some physical pain. 

I tried to get her to question whether she wanted my deteriorating health on her conscience. I have to assume that she thought twice about it because she gave me a bit more leeway after a while. She was also getting bored with the repetitive manipulations and gave me a couple of interesting lucid dream experiences amongst all the nightmares she caused by manipulating the imagery that was already there and infusing me with fearful emotions. In the dream, I became conscious of her voice and started to respond to her as I respond in my waking life. I then became conscious of the dream and went around commenting about it to her. It meant that I was looking around in a lucid way and noticing that this was indeed a dream and that it was amazing how detailed the environment was. She entered my dream scape by suggesting what I should do and placing some imagery here and there. The rest I filled in myself, and was amazed at some of the interior design that I was capable of imagining. 

She started to offer me confessions and began telling me stories about how she became attracted to me in the first place. It didn’t take me long to see that a story was fake as it didn’t hang together and didn’t match the facts of my life since my husband died. She went on and on, thinking that I was desperate to hear about they way she found me, and why she was around as soon as I started dowsing a year ago about some herbs I was taking. Although it would be interesting to know, I don’t really need this piece of information. I have had to be extremely patient as I cannot escape all the  tiring chatter she offers and find it difficult not to respond to comments and questions as they go on and on in my head while I try and focus on my daily life. 

I have realised that we go into illusions in order to explore and learn, and that this must have been the reason I succumbed to the stories they were offering me while I was still channelling them as my pretended spirit guides. This went on for a whole month and though it’s apparent in retrospect that the narratives were inane, I did somehow buy into them at the time. This also gave them the impression that I was a more gullible and easily manipulated person than I am. In fact, I have always faced the dark and that is what I had to do again. I hesitate to say this but perhaps the channellings were a way in to the underworld, which I needed to see. It may well be that I needed this experience in order to develop my spirituality and sense of true self. The fact of the matter is that I feel a need to embrace reality in all its aspects. Though my experience has been horrendous, I found that I was a great deal stronger than I would have expected. I kept trusting that my experiences would eventually serve my spiritual development. Even when my health started to deteriorate, I was able to add to my spiritual understanding of reality. The predators were in fact helping me understand how the ghost world works, and were a bit baffled when they saw how I was turning the negativity to my advantage. 

As I was becoming increasingly unwell, I decided it was time for me to try and ignore the woman and her chatter as much as possible. This was a hard thing to do as I couldn’t turn off the incessant chatter and her attempts at getting me to respond to it. I was getting extremely worried about the nights as I have been under extreme stress every single night for about eight weeks or so. I felt I was starting to crumble and had no more energy left for the fight. I also didn’t feel that there was anything left for me to learn and that it was time for her to leave if she didn’t want to commit crimes that were seriously damaging to my wellbeing. She could get me down very quickly, if she wanted to. Did she want to be responsible for an innocent person’s downfall? Was she truly as cowardly as to attack a person who was physically weak and unable to ward her off? She is still around as she seems eager to meet the psychic spirit rescue team that a friend has organised to come and see me in ten days time. I keep pointing out that they might get her into the light but she seems convinced that she can manipulate them as well as she has manipulated me. I have a feeling this is the most compelling reason why she is still here, as they game has flopped and there really is no more excitement for her to be had.