Showing posts with label discernment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discernment. Show all posts

Friday, 3 July 2009

How to Recognize a Spiritual "Saviour" Complex

There are people with a saviour's complex. I tend to run into them quite often because of my life situation, which makes me appear very helpless to some people. I don't think one needs to be ashamed of needing a bit of practical help in life - after all we are in this together. In reality, however, real, solid and honest help without ulterior motifs is very hard to come by. Among spiritually minded people there is one major ego trap that prevents them from becoming real enlightened beings no matter how much they might like to or pretend that they are already there. That is the saviour's complex.

I am going to talk about men who hit on women who appear fragile, because this is my personal experience. This is not a scientific thesis but a personal, empirical observation that I hope will help people be discerning about such encounters. In my opinion these men are weak and use their desire to help a woman as an excuse to suck her dry and appear more powerful. They feed on the idea that you're worse off than they are. If you do not wish to end up as a doormat you need to access your male energy and set firm boundaries for what is truly acceptable to you. These are healthy boundaries and nothing to be ashamed of either. You will meet with resistance but do not waver if your gutfeeling tells you that you're being subjected to something that is not good for you. Many of these points can be found in spiritual or religious teachers and in women, too. These are sad people but it's not your job to take care of their needs! They will never stop projecting their own sense of deficiencies on you.




  • The man in question has often spent a great deal of his life in meditation and has thus spent very little time learning about honest communication, relationships, and how to approach a woman in a tantalizing way. What may seem like an unconventional approach to dating is in fact simply a lack of knowledge and insight. Don't mistake clumsy with interesting. This guy doesn't have enough knowledge about real life because of having escaped it for so many years. He will obviously pride himself with the fact that he's meditated for so and so long.


  • He's not very likely to compliment you, because he's not really looking for a normal love relationship. He will hide his intentions from you or talk about them in a confusing way. This reveals that his heart is not open to you (or anybody else). He might even complain about having to be compassionate! He's certainly not that far evolved if this is the case! His strategy is to give you a nagging feeling of being inferior so that he can bombard you with his so-called wisdom and advice about how you should lead your life. If you start to feel that you won't be good enough for him or that you have to prove yourself all the time, it's a definite warning sign.


  • He's secretive about his intentions because he wants you to surrender to him. He may talk in terms of sexual surrender but what he really wants is for you to surrender your will to him. He will make you feel confused. Messing with your mind is a way of trying to control it. Many gurus use this technique as well so beware. Ultimately he will talk about surrendering to God's will. It's important to be really vigilant about the differences.


  • He loves quotes and will most likely bombard you with them. Instead of feeling uplifted, you start to feel drained and tired from them. They don't come from his heart and are certainly not meant to make you feel better about yourself. An authentic spiritual person is more creative and original than to use an endless array of quotes! This is in the nature of true spirituality! It goes without saying that this guy loves to preach. He may reveal that others think of him as a priest. I've even been told that I am one. Such talk is most likely just a projection from his own mind, a revelation about his true way of thinking.


  • Even if you signal your needs, for instance that you had a long and hard day, he won't take notice. He will keep you waiting because he needs to do his meditation first or for some really silly reason such as the summer heat. He won't be firm about how to proceed with the contact. Instead he will make sure that you don't know when he's going to call and it will seem that it's not okay for you to call him. Remember that he thinks he knows what you need and will be oblivious to anything outside of this subjective perception!


  • He will start to tell you what you need in order to become a better person or healthier, or even more beautiful. It sounds nice and empathic to begin with. He promises to give you tantalizing treatments and choose your dresses. But if you state your own opinions about your needs he will resist them. What he wants to give you may seem like an original gift but it's often just a copy of something someone else created or a ready-made formula that was not that hard to conjure up. Always be on the look-out for the lack of original thoughts and ideas. He may sound convincing but what he says may be straight from a manual. He loves his gurus and will refer to them quite often.


  • He claims to know what you're going through because he's been there but made it to the other side. In other words, he's more enlightened than you and thus has an excuse to give you the impression that he knows things about you that he can't reveal just yet, not until you're ready. This is a simple way of keeping you in suspense and thus dependant on him. His favourite adage is surely "embrace the unkown".


  • He might suggest that he will come into good fortune financially in "just a short while" and so hanging out with him is a good idea. This way he tries to make sure that you're going to stick around. The funny thing is, he may claim to become very lavish with his future money but he will complain about petty expenses that you caused him in one way or another, in the here and now. Such hints are tasteless coming from any man, no matter how upset he may be!


  • If you listen carefully, you'll see that while his tone of voice is often without much expression, there are moments when some form of bitterness will enter his speech. This will reveal the trauma that is driving him and it's very often a deficient parent. The scary thing is, he's likely to be looking for the mother he never had in you. If you're not the image of Mother Mary he will not be happy, and obviously no one can ever meet with his expectations. He may be an alpha male or a weakling; either way he will not make you feel calm and secure.
  • If he has an obsessive way of talking about the ego all the time and in all contexts, take heed. He probably has a problem with it. He might claim that he is ego-free but will make it clear that you're still ego-driven. For instance, he might say that testing people is behaviour typical of the ego and complain that you test him rather than trust him. Most likely he doesn't shy away from testing himself though. I ran into someone who was deceptive about trivia in order to see if anyone would be drawn to him on the basis of his energy. This is not really normal behaviour. Yet some form of testing is quite normal in the beginning of a relationship since you can't be expected to trust a stranger right from the start. If you are wary and cautious, he will probably hold your lack of trust in him against you even at an early stage of the relationship.


  • If you're stronger than he anticipated, he may retreat into a form of emotional blackmail. He will tell you that you don't act like a woman, or he may even reveal that he's the sensitive one who needs to be treated with the utmost care. If he has no real access to his male energy he will be passive-aggressive. Spiritual men are rarely able to express real anger and so he resents yours and shuns it like the plague! He might call you a controlling bitch when all you did was state your boundaries in a way that he is not able to do himself. He may call you hateful though you never used any actual words of hatred since you tried to be civil.


  • His most desperate attempt to get a hold of you is to refer to God's will (or that of any other form of higher power) and to insinuate that he knows what's best for you but you don't and you're missing out on life because you are stupid enough to resist God's will. I've been told that the man knew he was God's gift to me because I had earned it through good karma, but I was too stupid and my soul was too broken from torment to see it. And this was said with a winking smiley.

Artwork: "So-called Good Advice", handmade collage by author, copyright 2009

Monday, 2 March 2009

Discernement When Communicating With Others


There's a point where communication stops being interactive. I can't say exactly where it is, but I seem to feel when it has been reached. It's not so much about asking questions, as I don't think that's always necessary. You can simply feel if the other person is responding to your rants even if they do it indirectly. What happens fairly often in my life is that there's a sense of sharing at first that quickly turns into some form of preaching. I feel that the other person didn't hear me correctly and that their response is about what they want to proclaim rather than feeling what I was trying to get across. I think a good conversation is based in agreement or an attempt at understanding the other person. If not, then there's no point in going on.


I can be quite opiniated and strong in my views but I don't think that I'm unyielding as long as there's a note of sympathy. I have usually attempted to hold back until there's a kind of silent agreement that one can advice the other in a direct manner. This usually happens after you know each other rather well already and know that what is being said is not part of a power game. On the other hand, power games are subtle and based in a deliberate attempt to confuse the other person into thinking like them.


I recently talked to someone who was telling me a lot of rather obvious spiritual "truths" as if I was a child... when I questioned their motifs they told me that I was on a path of trying to find someone to blame and that they didn't want to continue talking to me. They knew I tend to uncover people's less agreeable sides rather easily and so they used that against me, as my motif and goal. I had to swallow hard. Was I seeing things that were not there? Or was I being true to myself? Nobody can tell me that! I do know that I had an uncanny premonition that this would occur because the person in question started to insinuate that sometimes it's best to just let people go if they don't fit into the beliefsystem that this person was professing to. I also wondered how in comparison everyone else was shallow and wrong in their approach... How people are either spiritual or not... no grey scale allowed in this case. It was also a bit strange that these people were proudly presenting themselves as not charging anything for their healing yet asked me to look for someone in my vicinity who would give me some for very little since I can't afford it. Yeah right. I started to feel that this person was in fact looking for disciples and since they all had to be women and have certain beliefs it was a bit doubtful to me. The signs of a dominant mind were definitely there, as my opinions mattered little to this person. Of course in their opinion, they were not asking me to believe anything whatsoever. Well, that's easy to say, isn't it.


There's a certain pattern that some smart men follow when they want something from you, the woman. What they want is of course either sex or your soul. First they share their hardships to awaken your sympathies. Then they come onto you about your nice qualities. Then they start to tell you what to do and what to think. Remember that all this may occur in a very subtle manner. All I can say is, better be safe than sorry. If something doesn't feel quite right, then it probably isn't. It is never easy to say no and turn away, but it's unfortunately something a woman has to do quite often in today's world. I have realized that few men will be nice and polite when they end the conversation with you, so I don't see why you would have to be. I know more often than not women prefer to be nice but it rarely pays off. Getting all wound up and angry isn't going to work out either. Better show one's maturity, even if it's only towards oneself! All this being said, I've noticed men complaining about women too so I think that more and more women are asserting themselves out there and not always in very nice ways.


I take things to heart so easily, and so human communication is quite difficult and complicated from my point of view. On the other hand I try and watch and learn and hope that if I have made a mistake, I will be made aware of it in a manner that leaves no room for doubt. My goodness, what if I'm stuck in some terrible pattern that is truly detrimental to me as a human being? Yet unsolicited advice is no longer welcome... It's a very confusing world out there and we do need to look after our well being. On the other hand I don't agree with those who never want to risk getting hurt again. In my opinion, life is about risks and chances. Whatever hurts will pass. No pain, no gain. Would you rather sit alone in the same place for years or go out and gather experiences? I know that truly growing as a person isn't very popular and most do take the safe routes. No matter how much I suffer I rather not go only for the safe cards though. For instance, if someone truly wanted to discuss a communication problem with me I think I would still be willing to give of my time, though I have also become aware that it's not always advisable. But that's just me. All in all discernment is a tough topic. Whether you're right or wrong, people are hiding a lot of things and often have an agenda. All you really have is your gutfeeling.


Artwork: "Noli Me Tangere", handmade collage by author, all rights reserved 2008

Monday, 9 February 2009

Being Discerning in the Beginning of Relationships


In relation to my previous blog entry, I have to say that I am still in great shock of how quickly encouraging words can turn into the opposite. I think it's normal to feel thrilled when someone tells you how wonderful you are because of your kindness and how happy they are to know you because you help them to understand themselves better. You open up and trust a person who does that. But then you start to feel that something is not quite right. There is so much talk about what makes the person in question feel comfortable and how difficult it is when people don't meet with expectations on that level. It seems that you're alright to the extent that you support and help the person reach his private goals. Ok, sometimes it's all very well. But how can you know that this nice person is not just projecting outwards what they have established about themselves? People have shadow sides, and it's in the nature of these denied parts of the self to be unkown to the conscious self. Usually other people trigger us so that we have an opportunity of becoming aware of this part of the self. I tend to trigger people a lot because I'm quite perceptive and intuitive. It has ruined many a friendship, mostly on the internet where everything is intense and open in a kind of scary way.

I'm very sad that so few people think along such terms. All relationships would be smoother if people realized they are mirroring their own issues in the other person. They say they want to grow but do they really know what that means and how painful it can be at times? I made the recent mistake of thinking that someone who seemed to like me a great deal would understand that I was about to go through some painful issues and would be there for me. The more I tried to explain myself, the more I found myself in an impossible maze that shouldn't have had to come about in the first place. Had I only been allowed to talk and had this person only lend me an ear... well, things would sure be very different right now and I would be proud to call this person a friend. As it was, I was shunned and ridiculed. There wasn't much this person actually said. Maybe he was, after all, polite enough not to, or he simply didn't have a solid case. Or he was the "cold war" type who rather stay aloof. Or maybe this guy was scared that his shadow side was being exposed? I don't pretend to know, as I don't pretend to be all-knowing. I can only say that somehow my expectation that the attempt to go through the emotional process in a controlled manner wasn't met (bad me to have an expectation!) and so I found myself in a state of even greater anxiety. Funny thing is, everything that I was submitted to was like an echo of things that I had heard this person saying he had been subject to by others. Relationships are indeed very often a mirror where things we experience as unpleasant to us in the external world are in reality a part of our denied self.


Someone posed the question whether we can save the planet or not, and this was my response: "This is a pet question for me. I think it's ludicrous to save anything at all. That's really ego speaking, since it wants to feel good about itself. Most people talk this way about the planet as well as their peers, and it can be hard to deal with at times. However, taking care of things is quite different. That comes from the heart and not an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Only our higher selves can know what the best action to take is at any given time.

May I add, that it's my understanding that many spiritually minded people think that by saving others from their misery and "faulty" attitudes, they are helping to save the planet. It's all about the critical mass etc, which in my opinion is a way of intellectualizing a process that will probably happen anyway ("let nature take its course..."). Therefore there's a lot of pressure on both sides; on the one hand those who offer a million solutions and methods of saving people must be rather stressed out (and usually give it away by getting nasty) and those who are subject to manipulation or attacks to conform to other people's idea of what is the right thing to do feel stress too. I think we should have a little more trust in the higher powers than this! Of course we shouldn't just sit back and get lazy, but (in my opinion) exercise effortless efforts by listening to our hearts and our intuition."


No, we cannot save other people. And we also don't have to try and support someone who is dragging us down. But to give up on someone out of convenience and almost no knowledge of the case at hand at all is in my opinion truly cowardly and pathetic. There, now I said it! I'm sick and tired of hearing about how compassionate we should be and then have the same people spit at me because I'm trying so hard to talk to them in an honest way and it doesn't suit their level of comfort. What is life if we don't stretch out of our comfort zone a bit sometimes? By honest I mean real and sincere, but also respectful at least to the extent that I am able at that particular moment. Sometimes we faulter, but it's human. Little slips can be rectified. You don't ban a person on a site just because they are having a bad day unless they are blasting at you. Come on; that's being highly egotistical. Give people a chance. If they have violated your boundaries it could be that they didn't really know what boundaries you had because you acted differently in the past. To resort to that kind of excuses when it's handy is hardly fair... It's equally silly to encourage openness and confidentiality in the form of rants and then suddenly when it's convenient use an excuse such as "I can't process all your issues, it's just way too much".


I also think that different cultures have very different concepts of a person's boundaries. Of course it's not only cultural, but personal as well. In my own case I'm very particular about boundaries but in one case (that I know of) I may not respect that of others and that's if I really need to talk about a problem while the other person is withdrawing. I simply cannot deal with such stress. On the other hand I once had to break the friendship with someone who was borderline because it was too stressful on me (my boundaries were constantly being violated). She might have thought of it as betrayal but I could easily have discussed it if she had wanted to. Betrayal to me is when people don't allow me to explain my feelings. I have to try and estimate my own capacity since so far I have a limited amount of energy to spend. Who do I spend it on and why? I am certainly not going to spend it on someone who only wants to be encouraged and appreciated but doesn't really want to accept me for who I am when it comes to real issues in life. A guy from the other side of the world can be super sweet talking but if he doesn't consider that I am staying up throughout the night in order to chat with him when it suits him the best, then he's a jerk. I'm sorry, but there are things that should be obvious. There are also little things that give a person away. I suggest you observe these signs and find out whether they mean something that is being covered up with all the beautiful compliments he's smothered you with. Oh and one more thing; if he thinks you're in love with him after a week, then run!


Artwork: "Emotions 2/6", handmade collage on paper, all rights reserved 2002

Sunday, 8 February 2009

Gender Issues, Cyberlove and Truthfulness


Every intellligent man I've ever talked to has denied that there are any differences between the genders that are truly worth mentioning. The funny thing is, every intelligent woman that I have talked to has denied that there would not be some very significant differences. It seems to me, that women in general have a broader scope of vision that encompasses viewpoints connected to emotions and intuition. It seems to me, that the old adage that women are caretakers and therefore tend to be more compassionate still stands true despite some attempts at greater equality between the sexes. Equality is also a funny thing because in my country, it means that men don't open doors to women or help them out when they are struggling with their baby carriages. Some more intellectual people try and reach the true essence of equality that would allow both parties to have an equal say in matters of the heart as well as matters of day-to-day practicality. I read somewhere, that Swedish women are the happiest women in the world. They have the most freedom to do what they want and also have the man's blessing. They don't seem to mind too much that it's at the expense of the old fashioned courteous ways that make a woman feel like a woman. Subject not closed as yet, it seems. See an early blog on the issue of true equality from a spiritual point of view.


I recently became aware by talking to various people that I need to try and empty myself of a lot of indoctrination that has happened over the past years. I need to hold on more to my quest for real honesty and authenticity and not the make belief kind of truthfulness that abounds. It's not very easy because there are many counterforces that try to allure a person into a dishonest position. If people you engage yourself with are not on the same wavelength, you'll have even more trouble in this regard. This is anyway a very real and important issue for me right now. Men have tried to undermine my strength because they were weak individuals, society has attempted to squash me and force me into a category of second rate citizens (they obviously have no use for me so why bother?) and spiritual people have been very fervent in handing out advice as to how I should live my life. I have been observing and digesting and trying to figure out what all these people are about. I see very little altruism in this world. I honestly don't think altruism is in the eyes of the beholder, though beauty is, and therefore we have a saying that stresses beauty. I see a lot of inner beauty in human beings almost as if I can't help it, but reality proves to be different. I feel very strongly, that it's a case of confusion, frustration and ignorance that covers up the inner light. On the rare occasion when I see kindness, I light up as well. To be complimented for one's kindness is a beautiful thing and something I am always very grateful to hear. But when is it only a compliment meant to allure you to feel more for the other person? In the real world, you may be able to tell quite easily. In the cyber world, this may be far more difficult. People are not who you might think they are, though that granted you can indeed in my opinion use discernment and see some portions of the truth. Virtual contacts is a great way of exercising discernment.


So how does kindness relate to equality and gender issues? Well, it seems to me that it's very difficult to be friends with a man. In the past, it has worked well for me because there has been this unspoken agreement that nothing else is going on or ever will. I have been fairly sure of what I've wanted and I've also been able to read the men sufficiently to know what they want. Usually, they express romantic interest very quickly or then not at all. In my more adult years I have met only one guy who came onto me after we'd known each other for quite some time. But I did suspect him of fancying me all the same.


In recent years, I've had to rely on internet contacts in order to have a social life. I have believed in various compliments regarding my talents or kindness. It hasn't always occurred to me that there might have been an ulterior motif such as getting me to be supportive of them. Women beware! If they claim to be terribly interested in who you are, please practice caution. Unfortunately, most of my experiences with men who were interested in me were pretty bad. A couple of Asians wanted to come and meet me almost without any preliminary contact at all. A German guy who was very much into some spiritual guru was prepared to cheat on his wife and "keep" a woman in Helsinki that he visited quite often. Well, that's what I figured out later since his first explanation was simply that the marriage wasn't going well at all. He wasn't quite sure about me though, so he grilled me for a couple of months and wouldn't agree to meet me. I was curious and since we got on well I somehow felt interested to meet. The waiting was very stressful on me though. We met once, I gave him all sorts of viewpoints I think he needed to hear, and he told me that it would be hard to live with me because I "notice everything". He was nice enough but had I had the experiences I have had now I would have bid him adieu in a week's time within knowing him. My choices are sometimes a bit odd, I do admit that. Whenever I feel a connection with someone, I am prepared to make a lot of efforts in order to get to know them. Now the succession of experiences that followed included an Italian who called whenever it suited him (he was obviously not interested and that caused some negative reactions in me), some really perverted suggestions, and the return of my ex that involved a 24/7 waiting period to hear from him in one way or another. He was in Helsinki while I had already moved away to a town 2 hours away. After that was over I waited for an American guy to show up here in Finland but he chickened out. Soon after another American came onto me online and made all sorts of promises that I only later found out that he wasn't able to keep. I was waiting for his phone calls every day. Eventually I had to go to America myself in order to meet him. Well, it was yet another disaster lasting three months, after which I was still waiting for his calls for a number of months and then for my things that he is not able to deliver. And all this is only for starters; there's more but I will refrain from boring the reader. I do also have a condition that causes very low stress tolerance but along with all this constant waiting on men, their visits, calls and decisions, wore me out completely. I obviously had to stop being so desperate, haha. But anyway, you get the picture? For some odd karmic reason, I've had to WAIT a lot. For men. I guess they do need to retreat into their cave every so often, though that's really a best case scenario.


Now, with all the virtual messaging going on I do feel somewhat desperate to talk to and actually get to meet the people I am talking to as fast as possible. This is obviously difficult if the geographical distance is great. Yet one can always hope, and maybe even plan it. This is especially true in the case of the opposite sex. Now why would this be?


I think it's quasi impossible to engage in an interesting conversation with someone of the opposite sex without considering the element of romance. However, since I'm rather realistically minded in this sense and have never felt love in cyber space, I find it very hard to understand how troubling this is to other people. A recent incident left me completely upside down when my vision of a truly honest and interesting quest for authenticity was interpreted as a desire for romance. Let me say this about myself and many other women; we do want to feel appreciated as women and it can be a great starting point for friendship that can eventually lead to something more. However, if we feel appreciated only for our brains (or I do anyway) then it's kind of a turn off. Most of the time. It's not that I am aiming at a romantic outcome. I just don't want to be treated by a man like a person without a gender. On the other hand, I also don't want to be accused of looking for romance just because I'm expressing interest in a man's intellect and personality. Oh, I know this is confusing and I've been struggling this weekend to make sense of it all. It's all the more difficult because of the elusive concept of equality. What exactly does it mean? Nobody knows but those who are intelligent feel it's important. I think that if it's very clear from the start that the connection is only based on friendship and will not go further, then there is no problem. This is very difficult to establish in the virtual world, however. It is just way too easy to fantasize, or to misunderstand and twist another's efforts to be genuine and open. It's even more confusing when the genuinity and openness, as well as kindness, is being encouraged, but there are no signs that there could ever be a meeting in real life. I mean, if someone is at least a little interested, they would agree that meeting would be a goal to work towards, right? Surely it's only normal that one would express some frustration if this is not possible very fast. So how do you deal with such ambiguities?


Because of a great confusion on this level in regards to an internet contact I had a forceful emotional break down that brought up all the bad experiences I've had in the past few years, as well as my fear of rejection that popped up all of a sudden. My gutfeeling was telling me that I was in yet another situation of waiting. The messages were not clear regarding the expectations on the relationship in question and I felt that I had to play by someone else's rules, though later on when it was already "too late" I learned that I had had some kind of expecatations (I'm aware of only one, which was to be heard and understood just like he did!). I am simplifying the situation so as to stick the issue that my blog is about. I have to say though, that as a result of my strong reaction, suddenly it seemed that neither my kindness nor my feelings were that imporant to the other person anymore. A female friend suggested to me this is to be expected. When men run into trouble, they avoid it. They don't even want to consider the possibility that they may be losing an extraordinary person, a "one timer". They tend to think in terms of the here and now and what makes them uncomfortable is what needs to be eliminated. I'm sorry if this sounds terribly stereotypical and men are welcome to disagree, but this assumption is based on years of experience and talk with other women. In this case my emotional break down was apparently reason enough to cause division. No matter how much I tried to explain the reasons and how they had little to do with the person in question, there was little receptivity as if the knight's shield was up to prevent any arrows from hitting the wrong place. I do wish that men would realize that women usually are much more emotional and not be so scared of it. We really can't help at times that we don't have a choice in controlling our feelings.


Meanwhile, as I'm waiting for some kind of response that may or may not come, I'm really cooling off. Whereas some things obviously turn guys off, some things turn women off. Somewhere deep down the knowledge that someone wasn't all that interested in talking on the phone and meeting up, hurts the woman in me. It seems to me, that I was asking for answers when I shouldn't have, because the other person needed space. Personally I have trouble dealing with feelings that are left hanging in the air and in fact don't tolerate that in a relationship. This is maybe part of my personal shadow but if I'm willing to talk to about it, then one would hope the other person who acted as a trigger would be willing to help work it out or just be supportive. In my case this didn't happen and I never got any other answer than "it was too much". Suddenly my openness becomes a toxic need for attention. I learn in retrospect that I have expected too much - well... I think that's very relative from person to person. I'm not perfect, yet I do need to try and understand... how do you when you don't get a straight answer? Seems to me all this person wanted was help on his own path, since my kindness was welcome to the extent that it supported this person's understanding of himself. And that's from someone who hated narcissism (which could very well be a sign that he in fact has a shadow side that is narcissistic). Sure I may have misinterpreted... I was also reprimanded because I try and analyze this person. I'm trying to understand this guy but am not getting response, so why should I not try and analyze? There's this thing called a woman's intuition, too... Warning signs come up when you hear word's such as control and reticience plus a bunch of excuses why things have to be a certain way and they have to think about proceeding or not rather than wondering what we can do. Honestly? I think this kind of behaviour is selfish and rude, even though they may be coming out of a person's denied shadow side. Remark that though I was very upset I didn't yell or demean this person. Men alway say yeah yeah they do want to grow - but how often have I actually seen it happen unless it was completely on their terms and thus just a repetition of what they've already decided about themselves?

Considering how much effort I've put into so many bad relationships, courtships, contacts and dates, it's no wonder that the lack of that little extra can make the whole thing fall apart. It seems to me that men and women feel differently about the romantic aspect of a relationship or the expectations that could lead to one in the end, but we sure both need encouragment of some kind to keep going. I can't really explain why this is - maybe there are exceptions but I truly wonder?
One thing I've gained during my emotional break down, however, was the insight that I will continue pursuing uncompromising honesty, absolute truthfulness and authenticity no matter what people say or do to discourage me. And I mean that society supports shallowness, but also that some people discourage you indirectly by simply misunderstanding you and not agreeing to explore these issues on a really deep level. I had a vision of what it could be between two people and how much one could grow from an interaction based in honesty (the kind kind, of course) and true equality, but it didn't materialize. Perhaps it was all my fault - who is to say? I will try and contemplate my strategies, of course. Avoid men who right away think that I am in love with them, and stuff like that... (haha). All I can do is hope that I will find new people who understand and don't shy away because the going gets a little rough. What I do hate are people who promise to be there for you when times are difficult, yet take off as soon as it doesn't suit them. Maybe I'm too hard on people who feel uncomfortable about some issue of mine, but frankly, I've never even heard anyone say that before. People like to project outwards what they have already established about themselves, but when something interferes with their self-image, they run. Intelligent men like to talk about equality, but where is it when truly needed? I see men usually wanting the upper hand. What is true compassion really about anyway?

Artwork: "Bus Door", digital photograph by author, all rights reserved, 2009

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Recognizing Severe Manipulation


This is a blog I wrote some time ago about recognizing manipulation. Ok, I want to say right away that I am not paranoid about the dark and that I think there is a danger in going too far in seeing evil conspiracies everywhere you look. There are things people do onto us out of sheer ignorance, and not out of a conscious desire to harm us (though it may end up being very harmful, of course). Then there are those who are somewhere in between, not quite sure of what their real nature is and unable to control their manipulative behaviour. The third category would be those who are conscious of what they are doing and trying their utmost to prevent the ascension of this planet. Regardless what sort of being you encounter, it is good to be on the look out for signs of manipulation. In other words, we must not discard people just because they are troubled, but we must also avoid casting our pearls before the swine and giving our precious energy to people who do not appreciate it and who are merely using us for their selfish purposes. This is why I have chosen to publish part of a newsletter that came to me yesterday. Again I wish to stress that the tone here is a little too dramatic and wound up for my personal taste, as many humans may occasionally display this sort of behaviour without being real dark entities. I try and stay cool and not take sides in any way that would cause more stress and fear in my own life. I think this is quite an important thing, since we need to retain our focus on a positive outcome and not squander or energies. I also do not take responsibility for any of the issues regarding Atlantis that are made here, as I am not in a position to say whether it is true or not. I also have to say that I found the volcanic ground on Iceland totally exhilirating so personally don't really have a negative feeling about it...



At the end I'm including some stuff I wrote in forums dealing with these issues.
I want to stress that I would personally eliminate some of the issues dealt with in this article, however I do not want to violate the copyright. I think it's important to recognize manipulation so we can invoke our personal power and get over it. All in all this is a good reminder though, so we can be ever so vigilant on our path:



- Beginning of quotation -



"Unmasking the Anti-Light


The seers and keepers of the light have come full circle. It has been a long journey to return right back to the place where it all was lost. We are now experiencing the memory, or what might feel as a shadow/echo frequency of the fall of Atlantis. We can see many of the old power and control dramas and chaotic energies resurfacing all around us as we rise above our past history to gain victory and passage into our glorious future. We are entering the most intensified purification process that Earth and Humanity has ever experienced, but we also know that heaven is closer than we think.


History

Just prior to the fall of the age of Atlantis, the clairvoyant and healing abilities of gifted Oracles were being misused by the Atlantian dark ones for ego based power, control of others, and outright warfare, instead of being used for their original purposes such as enlightenment, mastery and true freedom. These dark ones could be categorized as Atlantian dark lords, corrupt wizards, spiritual vampires, self serving alchemists, professional parasites and spiritual abusers. We simply see these ones as the younger brothers and sisters, because they still, even now, do not know who they really are, nor what they do. In the times of Atlantis, many of these younger ones were living in the areas that are now known as Egypt, Greece and Crete . . . and in the entire Middle East. This was a critical, unsettled and frantic time for these dark younger ones, for their egos were being unmasked by brave Oracles, so all could see their true underhanded agendas. This is where the fable of the "emperor's new clothes" and the saying "Wolves in sheep's clothing" came from. For a brief moment in time, all of humanity knew these ones for who they really were. They had been de-mystified and were about to be overthrown. This was the last step in a long journey for humanity to arrive in this dimension fully awake. Many of the Oracles had been called to unmask these dark ones out of respect for the creative force/light of the universe and the Goddess of Creation that we know as the Hathors. This was the force and deity that had given them the gift to see and heal. This force and deity has a great harmonizing energy that imparts great peace if used impeccably. Soon after this unmasking, the Oracles were forced to flee for their lives. The younger ones were outraged by the unmasking and began a counter attack. The Oracles and initiates of the Light fled to what is now known as Greece and the islands in the Aegean Sea, where, for a short time, they were honored again for their abilities. The unmasking of these younger ones came too late to avert the collapse of the powerful age of Atlantis. The collapse could not have come at a more heart-breaking time. All of life was about to ascend and finally fully arrive in the diverse many, as the enlightened ONE. Due to the misuse of power, the Earth's energy field, around what we know as the Middle East, was cracked during this collapse. Many souls were cracked also. This was a huge set back for Earth and humanity. This is a pain we still carry in our bodies; a pain also felt by our younger brothers and sisters, and our Mother Earth. It is this pain that Mother Earth is also still working to clear out of her, by using volcanoes, storms, tidal waves, etc.



During the collapse, many of the Oracles and initiates of the Light were rescued and relocated in Egypt's remaining Atlantian temples, and many went underground to continue their work. Many of the younger ones followed them there. As time passed, and the last of the younger ones grew old and died, we hoped that the collective field of consciousness and the Earth would be clear of their convoluted influences and horrific misuses of power. Many of their bodies were sealed and buried on the west bank of the Nile as added insurance that they would no longer be able to hurt themselves and others. We knew that the younger ones, as well as all lives passing on Earth, would have to journey through 9 gates of re-birth to be reborn. These 9 gates were powered by the creative force/light of the universe. These gates had a built-in, universal protection that would purify hearts as they passed through each gate before they were allowed to reincarnate. When we were re-born, all self-serving, ego-based agendas had to be cleared out so that we could be re-born in a clear place to begin again. We were confident that the younger ones wouldn't return to this dimension for a very long time because they had dark, heavy hearts, and this journey would take them a long time. But the dark lords/younger ones had developed a form of alchemy . . . a sort of anti-light. This anti-light was related to the energy that had created the fall of Atlantis. It was distorted and altered from the pure creative light of the universe. This dark alchemy helped them bypass certain gates, so they could reincarnate to continue their ego based agendas with their heavy hearts un-cleansed. They bypassed the gates of re-birth even though they weren't worthy to pass through.



What is happening now . . . We have returned once again to this age that we call Aquarius. We have reincarnated back into this huge moment, in this cycle of ages, to set right the misuse of power and light, and to bring about true freedom and personal mastery. Just as we feel the power and the intensity of this time, so do these confused dark ones . . . our younger brothers and sisters. We are scrambling to make sure that the last code of Ascension is anchored in place so we can be here fully awake. The unenlightened younger ones are scrambling quickly so as not to be unmasked once again. They would like to see us fail yet again in gaining our mastery and becoming fully awakened human beings manifesting all 13 codes into the physical realm (More coming soon on the 13 codes). They are setting up their smoke and mirrors so we might not see them. They are as cleaver as ever with their mind games and illusions. Sadly, they don't know who they really are and what they are doing to themselves, and, to their disadvantage, they forget who we are also. These younger ones are emerging now in unexpected places and have surprising roles. They are trying to blend in so as not to be noticed. They are right next to you. Many are working in our governments, acting as our spiritual healers and teachers, and so on. But you see it is too late for their old ploys and mind games to work for them. We have already opened our eyes. We have learned hard lessons from the past. We have remembered the sweetness of a true peace and spiritual freedom. The legions of light have been regathered and nothing can hold back the light and truth anymore. We have reached a pivotal point in the mass consciousness of Light.



We are now ready to re-claim paradise. It is at this time that we must walk through just a few more steps in our history to return to paradise. There is a little bit more for us to do. We are coming out of an age where the darkness was supported in hopes that they would find the light within. Now it is time to return this energy and light, that we willingly gave them, back to its origin within us. It is time we abandon the idea of sharing our gifts with those who misuse and diminish this light. It is time to end the energy vampirism and the unquenchable addiction to our light and energy. We know that we only lent this light to the younger ones for them to use for a time. We hoped that they would also taste freedom's sweetness and awaken to their own true inner power and light. As you see, they didn't understand our gift to them. We let these younger ones use our energy because we knew that they would eventually realize that they couldn't control the energy of creation that came from outside of themselves. Eventually their misguided efforts would fail over and over, and they will continue to do so. Nothing lasting comes from stolen energy. This energy of creation can only be shared and used as ONE . . . together, as a collective effort. Knowledge is not power . . . wisdom is. Getting energy from outside of oneself is like knowledge. Wisdom comes when you remember and truly experience who you really are. A child can have wisdom, yet some adults will never have felt its grace. We came here with full knowing that we were going to be used in this way. We did this out of great service in order to raise the consciousness of the younger ones, the planet and humanity. But over time, we also became accustomed to the unenlightened behavior of the younger ones. We also forgot how powerful and untainted this energy of light and creation was in it purest form. We didn't understand the extent of our sacrifices until now. Like we said before it has been a very long journey. Now we must reclaim back the light and the power that is ours.


We will not take it back in the same way that it was taken from us . . . OH NO! This is the way of the dark wizards. We will take it back by reclaiming and remembering who we are. We will starve the dark ones by not giving them any more of our energy. It is time to set the younger ones free from our energy fields; those that time and time again misuse the light we give them. We will rescue them no more. We will quit gifting our pearls to those who do not honor them. It is time for spiritual tough love. It is time that we move forward without trying to take them along with us. We hope they will follow our example. It will break our hearts if they don't. In all life, a mother's hardest job is to set free their children so they can fly. We have cared, fed and unconditionally loved these ones for a long time. They have not learned with our help, nor respected our gifts, or found theirs in the process. In fact, we have crippled them with our unconditional love and acceptance. We didn't let them fall, so they could learn to fly. We carried them on our shoulders, and now they cannot walk on their own. It is time for them to discover their true inner power on their own and remember wisdom, peace, and the sweetness of enlightenment within themselves. We were supposed to be their example of this light; not their source of light. They forgot this, and so did we. It is time that we all remember. If we continue to feed these spoiled ones, we become part of their heavy karma. By continuing to feed these ones, we help them continue the disempowerment of the servers of the light. We also slow down the collective planetary ascension process. What we involve ourselves in, with support physically, emotionally or even symbiotically, creates karma, good or bad, for us. Impeccability and integrity in this time of the shift is critically important. Where we put our light and power is what we will feed. The Oracles of Delphi had unmasked the younger ones in the past, and now we will unmask them again. Once they are unmasked, they will have no outside energy to maintain themselves. They will be forced to look within, just as we have. This time we will be successful, and the Earth and humanity will indeed enter a great time of peace and personal and collective mastery. We will finally arrive in the many, as the enlightened ONE.


How can we recognize these younger ones . . . these Atlantian Power Lords that are around us when they do not want to be unmasked? How do we recognize them when they are very clever, lie and hide their tracks? We have become so accustomed to their heavy presence and their ways, that we forget how deeply insidious their wizardry affects each one of us, our tribes, our Earth and our Galaxy. We have learned to be unconditional supportive to any and all life even if it is not good for the collective well-being to do so. There is a great difference between judgment and discernment. We are asking you for divine discernment to help accelerate the ascension of the collective ONE. If we don't know who the younger ones are, here are some of the>> masks that the younger ones use to continue to feed upon us and to steal our light. This is not a complete list, but it is enough for>> us to begin the great unmasking. These are some of their ploys. It is our turn now to do the un-masking. It is time that they discover their own inner light.


Harvesting Energy . . . First, the younger ones' main agenda is to harvest our energy. They do this because they have not found their own energy source within themselves. We let them use our energy, because we are compassionate and came here to serve those who have lost their truth. They have lost respect for what we give them, just like a spoiled child. A blatant example of energy harvesting is prevalent in those still living in Egypt. Many Egyptian residents, and the areas around the Middle East, are still at a huge disadvantage as their collective agendas are still being influenced by distorted energy created at the fall of Atlantis. Many fall prey to this energy. One of the ways this shows up is that they will act very friendly and helpful, but their underlying nature is to get "Baksheesh" (money and tips). Everything is done with the idea of what they can get out of you, or the situation, and at every angle. It is shameless greed. It is harvesting human resources. It is false service. They seem to give the impression of service on the surface, but when you look deeper, they do not care for our well being; nor do the kind offers come from the heart. Even volcanoes in the Greek islands still ooze seductive dark energies that the Earth is still actively working to clear out. Many good souls have risen above this influence. This is an amazing feat that does not go unrewarded. They will be bridges of light for the others.


Closed Hearts . . . These lost younger ones know spiritual truths very well, but with their minds, not their heart. They say their words with a forced power; not from love. The words may sound right to us, but our hearts will know differently. They will speak of love, but we will not feel it coming from them. The younger ones' knowledge is void of heart and true light. We will feel this as emptiness, or that something is missing, or that something does not feel right. This is the easiest ploy to catch. If we don't feel heart, question that authority heartily. We remember that real wisdom is an experience felt . . . not a knowledge that is taught.


The Holy Teacher Ploy . . . The younger ones will make grandiose promises of spiritual growth, then twist spiritual truths and lace them with self-serving agendas. The younger ones work hard to maintain high ground on self built pedestals. This is very hard work for them as their power for this does not come from within. They have to steal it first. They try to create a following, even new religions, as it becomes easier to maintain high ground when there are more supporting them with their energy. They will be motivated by jealousy, competition and greed, but preach oneness, service and unconditional love. They will claim to have the answers and try to>> keep you in a continual student position. They will try to psychically cord us as they are teaching us, and some try to do this through all eternity! With all the mixed signals we feel, we might begin to doubt ourselves. We get caught up in this ploy because we are great cheerleaders and natural supporters, and what they teach does echo some truth to a point. We want to believe so badly that they are speaking from true power. We want to see everyone reach enlightenment. We know that we are all family. ... continued on the right...


The Avoiding Criticism Ploy . . . The younger ones will try quickly to put us in a position so we cannot question their teachings or actions. If we do question them, we will appear to others to be in the very place that you know the younger ones to be in. They won't give us any space to interact as they fear that we might unmask them. When things do not go as they plan, they will blame shift . . . "It is not us that is the problem, it is you." . . . or they will say that we are not ready for this level of knowledge. They may blame their sacred sites, their country, or the government for their mistakes. There is no accountability for misuse of energy with the younger ones. They will profess that the dark energy that we feel is the light. Innocent ones are especially vulnerable to this ploy because they have so much trust.If we try to help the younger ones face their darkness, they will act surprised and stunned. They are masters at playing innocent and lace it with an underlying righteousness. Because of this reaction to our unmasking, we might doubt ourselves. We get pulled into this one because we forget that anyone could be dark and self-serving in the first place. Most of us trust that what is said by another is truth. We don't understand why anyone would lie as it hurts the collective ONE. Lying hurts everyone, including the one doing the lying.


The Spiritual Sacrifice Ploy . . . The younger ones will ask us to make sacrifices for a theoretical greater good. They will suggest that it is for a greater spiritual cause, even if it means jeopardizing our safety and well being, or worse . . . goes against our heart's truth. They have very little disregard for our emotional and physical well being. Be careful of this one, as they will try to boost our ego, so we will feel important by being a part of something . . . or it may make us feel guilty if we don't go along with this ploy. They don't ask for our consent, they command and take control, and leave no room for discussion. They will assume we will do anything for them and expect to use all our resources. We might even feel like their possession . . . treated like a slave. We will feel herded like goats. We will not feel respected. We do this for them because we have temporally forgotten who we are and our inner light. We will not make this mistake again. It is time for us all to wake up.


The Bait and Switch Ploy . . . The younger ones will shift and change from one ploy to another so quickly that it can unground the most focused initiate of the light. They try to keep us unaware of what is going on and try to place us in a fog. They can and do send many convoluted, mixed signals in efforts to keep us ungrounded and out of balance. They will create multiple distractions to confuse us. There will be a rushed and frantic energy, so we will not have time to think as they change direction. Once we are scattered and confused and in an unbalanced place, they can use us for any agenda they might have. They scatter us so they can farm us . . . harvest us. We are vulnerable to this ploy because we operate from the universal creative force that is constant when we are in alignment with it. Spirit is constant. This ploy is the universal creative force used in reverse.


The Healer Ploy . . . The younger ones will pretend to heal us, but instead they will rob our energy. Many times they will not ask permission to do their healing work. They will have no respect for universal or personal free will. They will impose their healings, teachings and knowledge on you if you want it or not. You will recognize this ploy when you become tired, confused or scattered after a healing or attending a class taught by them.

The Hiding the Agendas Ploy . . . The younger ones have a lot of secrets that they don't want you to know about. You will find that>> you don't know much about these people personally even though you>> have spent a great deal of time with them. They keep you in the dark about who they really are. You feel the hidden agendas but have no proof; but you feel them just the same. People do not hide what is appropriate and true. They only hide the mis-uses of light and power.


The Human Shield Ploy . . . This is the age old ploy where the younger ones will position you or another as the pawn in their scheme, and set you up to take the fall for them. They will get you to do their dirty work for them. We might find ourselves working for them for little or no compensation. They will hide behind our innocence, our titles, our banking systems, our legal systems, our identities and most of all our integrity and light. This ploy is interlaced with the next ploy. They will send out spies if they think we are about to unmask them to see what we are up to. The spies may be unaware of being used this way.


The Camouflage Ploy . . . These ones are experts at leaving no physical evidence for us to prove what our heart is telling us is>> true. Because we can't prove what they are doing, when confronted, they will say that we are fearful, suspicious, jealous, resentful, and have a lack of trust. We may be the only one that knows the truth about them, and this is a hard place to be in. This ploy teaches us to always listen to our heart, and to not get into these situations in the first place. Remember . . . authentic trust is earned . . . not commanded! We should never get rushed into any situation until we know the ones we are dealing with. Being impeccable with our energy means supporting those that have proven themselves, and also exhibit integrity, honesty and most of all accountability for their actions. It also means to be impeccable with ourselves. Integrity is not about being perfect spiritual beings. It is about true motivation and commitment to doing the best one can for personal and planetary awakening.


The Spiritual Hypnosis Ploy . . . The younger ones are masters at fascinating costumes, melodic speaking, mesmerizing movements, decrees, affirmations, incantations and spells. They speak in grandiose terms. They try to captivate and spellbind us so they can steal our energy while our consciousness is sleeping. We can get caught up in this because they can falsely echo and imitate the energy of the ONE. But we are left with a hazy, sleepy, tired feeling that is unnatural to the energy of the awakened collective.


The Victim Ploy . . . If other tactics quit working, the younger ones might become desperate and slip into "victim mode" or the "I am innocent" game. This is hard to see as we immediately go into compassion for them, as again we all want to serve. They gain our sympathy and trust because they know about our compassion and innocence. This ploy gets us into agreement to help them. This sets us up to have our energy harvested. If we continue to help them, they will farm us until there is nothing left, and then dump us for the next energy source.


The Spider Web Ploy . . . Old Atlantian Power Lords are masters of working with the collective web that all life is a part of. They understand that all things are connected, and they use this knowledge to their advantage to harvest and drain us and all our relations. Once we let them into our field and allow them to connect with us, they can drain us. Because the collective is all ONE, the younger ones have also learned to steal our light by going through unconscious, unaware others. We will feel this as a strange dark energy or personality shift in a person. This could take days or months to manifest. Remember, they are tricky and will do this slowly so you don't notice the shift. This is remote energy stealing. This is a type of psychic cording. It can be a messy, dark spider web of draining energy.


Other ploys . . . They like fighting on their own turf as this gives them a geographical advantage. They like to divide & conquer and use the element of surprise to keep us unbalanced. They like to give nice compliments to soften us up, and then they come at us with underhanded energy stealing and unexpected jabs. They will paint the illusion that they are working for the betterment of the awakening of humanity, but our hearts will tell us that their focus is only narcissistic in nature, and their only concern is fame and fortune. We may not be able to prove these facts, but we will know they are true. We don't need to know these ploys because if we listen, our hearts will tell us when we are in their influence. These ploys are completely foreign and unnatural to most light workers and true healers. The collective, in its awakened state, knows no feeling of going to battle, darkness or manipulation. So when we come into contact with these ones, we are blind-sided for a time. So we must learn to listen now. All in all, these younger ones can be our best teachers, as they open our eyes to how we are not respecting our energy.


Now we know what to do. It is time to set the younger ones free from our energy fields . . . those that time and time again misuse the light that we lend to them. We will rescue them no more. This is spiritual tough love. If they do not face their inner darkness and demons like we all have done, they will never know the sweet taste of self awareness and true freedom. The fact that they do not know their true inner power and light hurts us all, and the entire planet. This unconsciousness keeps us all from paradise . . . our promised land. What we are asking is not an easy journey for us to do. Remember, impeccability in this time of the shift is critically important. It is time to accelerate support in areas where the light shared will be multiplied. We will only lend our energy to fertile soil. Where we put our light and power is what we will feed. Feed the hungry wisely. With love for all life and the awakening of the diverse ONE.


The Delphi Oracles, and the Hathors, the Mothers of Humanity at Dendara, and by and through Aluna Joy.


Aluna Joy Yaxk'in is an internationally known author, spiritual life coach, sacred site guide, alternative historian, ordained minister and modern mystic who inspires and encourages others to recognize and accept their own authentic divinity and connection to God. Aluna>> Joy Yaxk'in, PO Box 1988, Sedona AZ 86339 Ph: 928-282-6292 Webpage: http://www.alunajoy.com/>> E-mail: alunajoy@alunajoy.com>>>> Copyright © 2008 - Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this article on the condition that the content remains complete, full credit is given to the author(s), and that it is distributed freely. Center of the SUN - Aluna Joy Yaxk'in, PO Box 1988 Sedona, AZ 86339 USA Ph:928-282-6292 Ph/Fax:928-282-4622 Email: alunajoy@1spirit.comwebsite :www.AlunaJoy.com Related articles...>> FAQ ~ Being Psychic 101 ~ A Basic Course Click here FAQ - How to avoid being Psychically Attacked a.k.a Black Magic Click here THE NEW TEACHER Jeshua and the Great White Brother/Sister Hood Click here SPIRITUAL WOLVES - CLAIMING SPIRITUAL INDEPENDENCE Click here *Also posted in GERMAN and DUTCH"- End of quotation -




My own input at a few forums regarding the issues of the dark powers and the questions surrounding dualism versus Oneness:


1.Owning life in its entirety seems to me to be the key... It is easy to speak of Oneness this Oneness that but so much harder to truly embrace it. How many can HONESTLY say they can do it? Even if we can grasp it every day life brings challenges and so we are always learning. I would agree that fearing fear is really the worst. It's like resisting resistance. That is amplification if anything. When we quickly recognize it and transform it as soon as we can, it manifests less. Simple huh? ;-)


2. At some point we become aware of acting out a drama but we can't just obliterate it, so it becomes a bit of a schizo situation where we know we are not that but we still have things to figure out (and mostly by ourselves because we have free will, no one can tell us exactly what to do, so it's up to us in the end even if we get some assistance and support). Things to do with our personlity or persona may also need to be strengthened so they become better tools for us to navigate in this sphere.


Personally I think it's not exactly 'wrong' to see dark and light as opposites but that's the viewpoint of this reality today. However, this is the reality we have to work with, and so I would recommend that the basis be real strong in this realm before we introduce other ways of thinking and seeing. See what I'm getting at? Words are sometimes deceptive as we can talk about Oneness and understand it intellectually, but living it is quite another story.


3. Unfortunately there are many ways of manipulating and the best one is to use someone's belief system and turn it against them in sneaky ways so that they become unsure of themselves. The self-doubt will then finish off the job very nicely.


There are opinions, and that's a neutral fact. There are different ways of expressing opinions, and that is for sure less neutral! The only thing we can truly be responsible for is not so much what we project outwards (because that truly is hard to master although not impossible) but the recognition of what our initial intention was. The sooner we rectify anything that seems disturbing to our conscience, the better. So telling someone upfront that they are creating their own negative experiences can be taken in many ways depending on the energy behind the words, the vulnerability of the object, and the situation.


4. This is what I've always felt intuitively: If I think a lot of demons and what they are capable of I will attract them. If I feel paranoid that people are demonic and out there to get me, then I attract them too. So it's good to be aware that there are dark forces wanting to hamper the ascension, but being too dramatic about it can easily lead to dismissing 'normal' human behaviour as more vile than it might be in reality. So personally, when I've had trouble in life I've been very hurt if people have made a point of staying away from me because of it. Again, it calls for discernment... It's easy also to manipulate people into believing they are dark and sinister rather than encouraging the light in them, however we should also be aware that casting pearls before the swine may not help anybody at all... What do you think?


I should add that I am not afraid of the dark and I've encourntered some forms of it a lot, and I do think that in general, I am a catalyst for many dark shadows in this realm. However, we all have our role to play and I don't want to take on more than I can handle in this life. So what I am talking about is not rejecting the dark but more like 'the right action at the right time' as the taoist and others suggest.


5. We all have our work to do and no one else can come and make a judgment whether it's right or wrong. There are so many ways to help and assist. I just wrote on another thread that I am not fearful of the dark but I have to be careful not to cast pearls before the swine and thus squander valuable energy. I can see that I tend to be a catalyst for other people's shadows, it's just something that happens naturally. However, there are times when it is not worth the trouble and it's better to turn off the switch or walk away or whatever. We do need to know what the tricks of the dark and/or confused ones are so we can be vigilant in our communication with other people. This in my opinion is the very core of the issue. This is regardless whether these are real scheming powers of the dark consciously hampering us, or just the 'normal' human derailed behaviour of confused individuals. If we are called to transform the negative energy and capable of doing so, then that's part of our mission. If not, then there are other ways to work for the good of all. We live with a constant paradox and maybe this is something to keep in mind; dualism is very much a fact on this level of being as is free will (apparently more so than I myself ever thought was possible), but so is the Oneness underlying it all and tying us all into this intricate network of life. I rather try and avoid taking sides other than the normal indignation that I feel as a human being bullied by those who are trapped in the fetters of ignorance, or by those who are plain mean and consciously pushing towards me towards traps (of which the ego traps are the worst, in my opinion). It is good not to have fear of the dark powers but this in my view stems from a very deep understanding of its illusory nature. We need to respect that not everyone has come to this understanding yet, but may still be willing to serve the ascension.


Artwork: "Viti Crater Lake, Iceland", photograph by author, all rights reserved 2003

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

Spiritual Jargon And The Question Of Compassion With Detachment


This time I'd like to continue on the subject of manipulation and talk a little about spiritual jargon (household words for the initiated spiritual elite), but also tie it in with the idea of compassion. I have observed, that there are unfortunately many ways in which spiritual beliefs can be used against you in subtle ways, and I would like to raise awareness about this. Just keep your ears wide open and pay attention to what people say and in which context! Was the argument really in perfect tune with the subject matter in question? This is again an area in which I believe it's important to practice discernment. And if someone tells you you attracted some idiots into your life because you're not being a positive person yourself, watch out! It could be that you needed the idiot in order to learn something new and valuable. It may be that you taught the idiot something new and valuable (it may not sink in right away but maybe one they they'll get it!). Certainly there is always a need to be on the look out for our own shadows and see what it is that make us repeat certain patterns in our lives. But not all is shit that stinks just as not all is gold that glitters!



Here is an example. I was recently invited to become a writer for some kind of e-zine or whatever it was, but they didn't accept my first submission because in their mind the energy level wasn't high enough. I see... so truth is not an issue, only happy faces? It's important to be positive but we need to be real too, for goodness sakes! Ok, I admit the article in question was an old one and so maybe it's best buried and forgotten. However, I especially didn't like the way 'energy' was being used as an argument. If this sort of thing continues, it starts to resemble some kind of spiritual fascism where 'arian' is simply interchanged with 'high energy' or '5D frequencies'. I spot 'danger' here! Don't you? Way too many times have I encountered people who truly believe that spiritual elitism is okay.



Ok first, 'energy' has become a household word that most people understand even though it is not related to the physical definition of it. The 'dimension' thing (5D and above) is quite new to me and I never read any stuff about such things back in the 90's when I was still reading. Certainly it is a kind of illusion, and I guess I've more or less settled with a view that it 'kind' of exists. Really it's a tool more than anything else. I don't like how the ideas of 3D, 4D and 5D become jargon, but the truth is... sometimes we don't have much of a choice as language is limited and our perception also. I figure dimension is a reasonably useful word for categorizing various states of being. but it has been somewhat useful for me to use it as a tool for thinking and understanding that 3D corresponds with the typical Earth experience (very physical and unfortunately one in which people usually have to fake their identity) and 5D corresponds with my higher self.

I believe that residing in a state of being that corresponds with 5D allows us to be aware of the underlying unity and who we truly are. However it really throws me when people are using the various dimensions in the form of a jargon to enhance their sense of self-importance and belittle those who are not yet aware of that dimension. We ARE all one so at the bottom of the illusion we are living there is unquestionable equality and Oneness. Thus we all reside in all the dimensions that exist but perceiving them differently. Note that ascension would from this perspective mean a change of perception and attitude, not a tangible 'rising' of sorts.


I also don't like the way Oneness has become jargon, it's easy enough to talk about it but experiencing it is quite another issue.


I also sometimes feel that if I don't attract abundance in my life right now I had better put a bullet through my head.

Anyway... this little incident with the writer's site also caused a series of self-doubts within me.


I admit that some of the questions I started to pose myself were in fact warranted, but some of them made me more confused than I needed to be. Because of this project I had created another blogspace (this one in fact) which I also planned to use as a home for old blogs that originated from a site I left recently. I was thinking that there will always be people who will be in the same or a similar spot as I was in at the time being. However, as I looked at them more closely they didn't strike me as very relevant to who I am today, and so I started to feel embarrassed about putting them out there. Then I thought of editing them but saw that they were tied to a certain time period in my life and difficult to transcribe into a new form. At this point I was starting to feel stressed. I was wondering if I really wanted to be writing short 'pieces of wisdom and experience' (sic) to the general public anymore. What if the new me will be crucified when the old me was only being stoned?

Truth to say, I don't really feel like putting up a fake front of joy and happiness right now. (That has nothing to do with who I 'really' am though!) Life is damn hard at this moment in time and I don't think it's much easier for most people who are for real (or not aware of what is really going on). All around me I see chaos (a lot of incompetence and irritability in the most unlikely places in every day life!), and find that my own personal life is the least chaotic of all, haha. It didn't always used to be that way and so I am thinking, hey, I am really not doing all that bad! Should I be listening to the opinions of people who have no idea what my life has been like and what I have achieved? Of course not. And now I'm talking about people in general, not just the people at the spiritual site I mentioned in relation to my writing.

It's so easy to resort to clichés like 'you are attracting this or that because you are X'. In fact, it can easily be part of a jargon in which people try and prove that you're inferior, and I shun anything that smells of competition. All I want is just to share stuff as friends do. I have been looking around the spiritual communities on the internet and in the real world enough to know that times are rough for a lot of people and I think it's enough to stick with that and stop causing guilt in ourselves or others. I for one feel immensely tired of the human games and the ego tripping that abounds. Unfortunately I'm not yet strong enough to react with pure love and compassion at all times. It's not that I am not compassionate, it's that all this is too overwhelming.

I get messages about not allowing myself to be bogged down by other people's negative experiences anymore. This to me is the hardest lesson of all. How do I retain a sense of compassion without sucking up all the energy of those who suffer? I used to feel attracted to Mahayana Buddhism due to their pertinence regarding this particular question, and now I know why! I felt so drawn to the ideal of the Bodhisattva (the Buddha who postpones his or hers final enlightenment in order to come and assist Earth people time and time again) but didn't quite know why... It agitated me to be one but it also agitated me not to know if I was some kind of being like that or not!

I would like to point out, that many people will tell an empath that it is not okay to feel 'too much' for someone else. According to common psychology, this could be an indicator of borderline or childhood traumas relating to the caretakers. It is of my opinion that it doesn't have to be! You know the answer. Again, if I had believed everthing people told me about myself I would probably not be here to day.

For now, I simply don't know how to strike a balance between compassion and detachment, though I do think I will solve the problem eventually with a little help from a friend and our guides. I have to say that it is counter to my belief to avoid those who have a bad time. However, in the end this is maybe not the real question here. What I mean is... I have a tendency to go and die a martyr's death if it seems necessary at the time, but this doesn't necessarily mean there is anything badly wrong with me. It may only be an indicator that I am compassionate and in this life in order to assist certain beings (this is what I have come to believe). However, now is the time when I need to gather strength for the times to come so that I can be of real help when asked to assist. There are times when we are simply wasting our energies for no real good at all or waiting far too long for the results to show, and times when we can actually do something of value. Now seems to be the time to start discerning between the two case scenarios.

I have to be aware of not carrying other people's burdens. When it comes to my near ones this is where it becomes truly difficult. It also becomes difficult when people confront me with assertive and impertinent energies. The point is how to keep walking up the stairs so that we can be strong and good examples to those who follow later. Just as I was thinking that my compassion is finally showing outwards, I had to revise the way that I am using it in my life...

I don't know if others recognize this dilemma but to me it's a major turning point or a defining issue. It also means that I cannot be there for someone I care for very much. I feel that am not in our joint enterprise for the right reasons. I can't confront this person with my reasoning right now because they don't have the capacity to recieve it. And so I am having to wait... with a bleeding heart because I cannot express how I feel but also cannot feel what I would like to express. That is, for the time being.

Later addition: One thing that someone pointed out to me is the talk of 'boomeritis' which in fact is a generation of people who have become incredibly narcissistic. The idea was that everyone respects each other's truths and no one takes the lead, so no evolution happens, it's just status quo. I'd say this connects to the idea of self-enhancement since it then becomes totally ok to bring out all your asssets and a little more. This is a very typical American phenomenon and just saw a bit of an interview with the famous American literary critic Harold Bloom saying something along those lines but in a profane context. Everything has to be exaggerated and over-zealous, but where does that take us? Someone always has to be on top behind the scenes even if on the outside, everyone accepts that everyone else is fighting for the highest position. See what I mean? It's a viscious cirlce I guess. I was brought up in a totally different atmosphere where any kind of self-enhancement is looked upon with disdain, 'don't you dare think you're anything and better than others', lol. To brag about one's credentials is really a deadly sin over here. I have trouble believing that these tendencies will disappear over night... How can we acquire a real and authentic sense of equality?
We are conditioned to judge... It's an automatic almost. It's VERY hard to stand strong in one's own truth when there is so much peer pressure (have touched upon that in other blogs). There is much to say about all this... Chogyam Trungpa called it spiritual materialism some 25 years ago, so people have been trying to warn against the spiritual ego traps all throughout the New Age. How do we rise above the look of others? Those rolling eyes, the gaze of disapproval...? As I've said before, if I had not believed in my higher self all these years I would have succumbed to pressure and I don't think I would have survived it. The labels, the diagnoses, the assumptions, the judgments... Gee, what a world! Yarra, it's good you question the semantics here too. I'm not sure I see a whole lot of difference between detached and un-attached but I do see your point. I myself am really squeezed up against the wall right now though. Two people in my life are supposedly (according to higher sources) keeping me from ascending due to the frustration and worries they bring about in me. So it's a bit like goldenrunner's situation in which you feel you have no choice but to put up with the malaise, yet you know it's hampering you. Why did I have to wake up this morning with such a heavy heart? It's not right... there should be an end in sight, after all these years of struggling to do the right thing and take the blame and trying to fix one's own issues... At least as far as me and my friend's guides are concerned her and I don't have to learn more about these things, and so we do need to somehow disengage emotionally from the people who drain us with their oh so human ways of defending their position or the trouble they are going through. It's like my friend said, 'it's just one thing after another' these days. They are things that COULD be part of projections of our own shadow issues but apparently they aren't. The question remains what the best way of dealing with all this is. So... close contact is the hardest place to be when it comes to compassion. So I think you, Yarra, were talking about from a different point of view, right? Some of us are like sponges and we HAVE to do something about it. Though I've been told there's no real hurry one does feel that time and opportunity is slipping away somehow... I guess we are all so eager to see an end to our own misery whatever it is (those of us who are still entangled in something)....




Artwork: "Choose Your Friends Wisely" handmade collage by author, copyright 2008

Monday, 16 June 2008

Two Healing Playlists


I have created two playlists that I hope will be enjoyed as such but also in terms of healing. One is basically for releasing or dealing with emotions and the other is for discernment, inner certainty and empowerment. Try it out, there is nothing scary there! www.playlist.com/user/24159716, or www.myspace.com/symbolistartist. Enjoy!
Artwork: "House Of Cards" by author, collage on paper, copyright 2008

Tuesday, 3 June 2008

When Your Honesty Is Being Used Against You


This is a time of honesty and straigth talk, I'm sure many would agree! The following I am writing because I still have trouble with people wanting to bend me to their will and exert some kind of power over me so that I will succumb to their creed. Since I won't accept it I become an even more covetable object, I guess... I wish I had happy and joyful things to write about at the moment. The truth is life is different than it was a few months ago and I certainly feel how change is vibrating within us and in our entire collective space... But when all this light is coming towards us, the dark issues are being revealed, and they need to be dealt with somehow. I can see that this change is especially tough for all those who sense it but don't know why they are feeling so crabby... and these people will pour their unease onto others around them, do their daily work badly, struggle with depression, lash out at anyone they are in touch with, cause havoc and more suffering... and these people don't necessarily mean to, however cannot help it since the feelings they are struggling with are so overpowering. We live in times of great uncertainty, and so holding onto our compassion in these times when we might be unduly attacked or mistreated seems truly important.

There are things we encounter in our daily lives that are not necessarily of evil, yet they are of ignorance. And the ways of the ignorant can also be smart and sneaky, especially when it is disguised as spiritual in character. This means that these people are like traditional missionaries whose compulsion and conviction is to convert those who do not comply with a certain religion, since only the redeemed ones can be right. There is a lot of victim energy in the air and so it has become very easy and popular to use the 'victim' stance as an argument against people who have a hard time. Victims need to be saved, right?


I have been recommended a book about such issues and will read it when I have time. For now, I want to say a few words about my own experiences with subtle manipulation and mindgames. I would suggest that people should be vigilant when dealing with people who say some of the following:

"Well, somebody has to tell you the truth about yourself"
"I am your friend, the only one who will tell you what you really need to know about yourself"
"You are just like I was before I realized that I am creating my own reality and don't need to be depressed"
"I can see through your stories because you remind me exactly of X"
"In the end you will see that I am the only friend who will stick by you"
"It's okay to be nasty if it helps someone see the light"
"I can see through your victim stories but I still honor you"
"You're a great person and doing a great job, but I can see that you still haven't gotten it"
"I know that you will do X because I can see who you are"
"This is your best work"
"You're not looking for friends, you're looking for woundbuddies"
"You just want someone to feel sorry for you, but I won't do that because I am honest with you"
"I am just being honest. I have a right to be!"

"I feel compelled to tell you this (and it doesn't matter what you think about it)"
"If you don't give any you won't get any either"
"You get what you pay for"
"I can see that you are X but it's ok since you'll eventually get out of it - with my help"
"You obviously need to study a little more, but you'll get it, eventually"
"It's always about your feelings and no one else's"
"You need X so that you can be prepared for the future"
"I create my own reality and I will it to be happy, thus I allow no one to stand in my way"
"You are creating your own negative experience"
"Have you ever considered why you attract people who treat you badly?"
"If you write things online you can expect to attract all sorts of comments"
"Your condition is a good excuse to stay in a victim mode"
"If you don't accept my gift of love something is wrong with you"
"I know you will respond to this because you can't help it, I know what you're like"



...and on and on it goes, some of it being very subtle and hard to detect (and makes more sense in a context rather than outside of one as presented here.) Does any of this resonate with your experiences? Do you sometimes feel that as soon as you're being open and honest, the vultures come and pick on you so that you close off like a clam? Now if this continues, how are we ever going to heal this planet and its inhabitants? Right now, honesty is hardly ever being rewarded. The only feedback available is often very harsh and negative, aimed to turn your beliefs against you so that you start doubting yourself. The idea is usually to make the 'victim' in this drama dependent on the redeemer or rescuer, or simply to enhance the rescuers ego and give him/her the last word. I will write more some time later. I honestly think this is an important topic to contemplate in these times of upheaval.

Artwork: "The Refuge", collage on paper, copyright V-M C 2008