This time I wish to share with others the current, very stressful configurations regarding money issues. I signed up for one of the 'teasers' that people who run businesses offer online, this time it was the numerological analysis of my name and birth date. I received the same numbers as years ago when someone did this for me as a friend's favor. What comes up is a rather conflicting configuration where on the one hand I am highly concerned with ethical issues over materialistic ones, and have a tendency to sacrifice everything for a a cause related to social injustice, yet at the same time my heart's desire is to feel an abundance of love and signs of wealth flowing in my life. Though the latter has not manifested in very obvious ways, I can recognize this wish as some kind of undercurrent in my life and attitude about reality... I do manifest it in terms of beauty, but there's a counterforce connected to my anti-materialistic stance... Eh, I'm as contradictory as ever...
Now what I am really getting at is the way that greediness and a belief in 'lack' is ruling the world of today. Remember, I live in Finland and am not used to aggressive sales techniques at all. However, almost every day now I receive offers to change my telephone line for a cheaper one or special offers on magazine subscriptions and the like, and the tone of voice and approach is more assertive than ever before. I made a vow not to make contracts on the phone after I had some trouble with one regarding the internet connection that I made last year. Although everything turned out ok in the end, I was stressed about it for months.
One day I finally fell right into a trap, though. I was obviously feeling overly optimistic and confident that good things will be coming my way, since this is one of the messages that keeps coming to me in various ways. Although it is correct that we should have faith and a positive outlook in order to attract a better future, it is in reality very hard to keep a proper balance with the feet well on the ground. We must of course also be aware, that this is a time of extreme economic upheaval on a global level, and therefore the collective desperation of people who wish to have a better life at whatever cost is also greater than ever before. This results in all sorts of aggressive attacks on the individual to pay for this, pay for that... prizes are forever soaring and the poor are getting poorer due to all the psychological pressure. Capitalism is reaching its farthest extreme. I have to admit I that find that all the talk of opening up to abundance can sometimes cause more confusion, and maybe even mess with one's personal intuition and discernment. Again, I am not saying that it is all wrong. Yes, we do need to remove the sense of lack that most of us seem to be carrying deep inside. However, this is not going to happen just through wishful thinking and by succumbing to all the great 'offers' that are out there in the world (whether they be a promise of better health, economy or status). Unfortunately, most people who are concerned with the making of money will have very little concern of an altruistic kind.
So... I am relatively naive when it comes to the aggressive nature of many salespeople. Where I come from, this has not been such a blatant problem until very recently. My culture supports freedom of choice and most of all, people don't like to be pushy. In America, on the other hand, selling is an art all its own. And so when I was called up yesterday and offered an opportunity to take part in the green card lottery for the USA if I paid so and so much, I succumbed. How could I be so stupid as to agree to all this ON THE PHONE??? Well, one thing is that other people's money problems have been in the air to an extent that I feel completely suffocated by them, and I've started to be careless about my own financial assets. The collective is obviously also experiencing big issues on this level and all this is pressing hard on the individual's psyche. All the talk about needing to be open to abundance also undermined some of my normal caution (though some of it is of course for the better). I also misunderstood the service I was given and somehow thought that I am paying for something that would come up later anyway if I move to the USA. This is connected to the fact that it is very hard to figure out exactly how you can enter the country legally. I also did not know that there is a lottery that is free of charge, as this was never pointed out to me during the intense and skillfully managed conversation. Thus... I fell for the flattering and encouraging words that were offered me. After a sleepless night with an enormous knot in my stomach I tried to cancel the deal, because in reality I might literally have to starve if I am to pay off this money from my credit card for the next few months.
I prayed that they would agree to cancel this transaction. I know from my American companion how hard cooked and harsh people who deal with your money can be...
So my message to those interested is to encourage the use of our commonsense during these times of upheaval. The act of balance is precarious. We need to be open and hopeful, but not gullible and naive. Nor should we succumb to greed while mistaking the quest for abundance for a chase for money. Keep in mind that abundance means many things, not only money in the bank. And it is a mindset more than anything else. At least for now...
The lady in question finally called, and bombarded me as expected with arguments to support their cause and make me look like an idiot for not having simply hung up the phone if I didn't understand what was going on, if the conversation was too fast for me or I knew I couldn't pay for their service. I said that what they told me was not a lie, but that they also did not tell me the whole truth (e.g. that there is another option that is free of charge). 'Well you obviously wanted this very much or otherwise you would not have paid for it right away!', she argued. I couldn't help starting to sob as I tried to appeal to her human side: "Yes, that is the problem, I wanted it very much, too much so, and therefore I couldn't think clearly about the money situation'. Apparently trying to appeal to someone's human side in a situation like this is not conducive to any changes...
It is of course a proven fact that high levels of stress hormones in the blood cause the brain to work less efficiently, and assumptions are succumbed to where clear thinking should be in charge. All I could see at the time they called me up the first time was opportunity and a feeling of excitement (I never thought this could happen to me!). Maybe it was for a reason, who knows. I certainly got to see some human behavioral patterns at work here... Because she realized that I had truly misunderstood the idea of paying more for special treatment (usually VIP equals being treated as a 'very important person' thus having advantages that others don't), she finally agreed to refund a part of my money. I think she realized I had a hook on her since they were using a term that was false in the current context. My companion was urging me to threaten with filing complaints etc. Ok, so I am too soft and don't want to argue 'too' much. I guess sometimes in life we have to be happy that we can at least reach a compromise. I have to accept all this as another lesson in life and hope that something good does come out of it. Luckily, I received understanding and support from my near ones. Financially speaking the incident could have been much worse, and what I am now having to pay is not a catastrophy of mega proportions. It's bad enough but I will try and stay hopeful that things work out. Maybe the lesson was worth its investment.
Artwork: "The Precarious Art Of Balance - On a Knive's Edge" handmade collage by author, copyright 2008
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