Showing posts with label Mysticism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mysticism. Show all posts

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Some Definitions on Mysticism

I took part in a discussion about mysticism and threw in a few things out of my memory. It's been a while (ten years) so I need to read up a little and think some more, but for now, some of the things I brought out in answer to some questions.

For one thing, mysticism isn't a science but the study of mysticism is because it attempts to collect evidence, resort to empirical studies, define and categorize. It's thus as much a strand of science as psychology is. As for the experiences of mystical nature, yes they are basically either of a dualist or oneness nature, however "Oneness" is generally considered a more desirable AND higher state of consciousness on the ladder of consciousness expansion. Whether these are true or not is of course impossible to determine for sure as they can only be of a subjective nature but there are some contemporary writers who have done a good job in defining these things.

It may also be useful to think of mysticism as esoteric as opposed to exoteric. Esoteric is the practice of spirituality/religion that looks inwards for the answers and experiences, whereas exoteric is the opposite. Most traditional forms of relgion are of course exoteric as they rely a lot on a dualistic approach to some form of God or Gods and also rituals such as various forms of sacrifice. In short I don't see there is much one can argue about when it comes to mysticism!

This reminds me of the Taoist idea that you cannot speak of that which cannot be spoken of. As soon as you try, it no longer is the ineffable. The whole point with a real mystical experience seems to me to be to transcend words, since words rely on a dualist experience of reality. The experience of the underlying oneness of all things is the "goal" or point. On another note, not that many people have really been there and if they have, it's usually been really shortlived. What the future hold is another story though. Who knows what will become accessible to consciousness when evolution (the evolution of conciousness in this case) takes us further?

There are apparently many ways of conceiving dualism but I'm referring to the idea of yin and yang. In my "simple" world there is high and low, light and dark, happy and sad, etc... classic examples of the play of opposites in a dualist world. We tend to choose sides, take a stand for one thing and shun its opposites. I find this working fairly well in my day-to-day experiences and attempts to understand how humans act, for instance. Understanding life as a paradox where you attempt to join these together in a both-and kind of thinking rather than the adverse either-or. It's not, according the Buddhist philospher Nagarjuna, the ultimate answer to the ineffable, but closer to the understanding and hopefully consequent experience of oneness. A real life-changning mystical experience would of course be something akin to enlightenment, but it doesn't (as far as I understand) guarantee that life be free of conflicts caused by life in a dualist world.

However, even if things are not complete extremes but rather somewhere on a gray scale, it doesn't mean they would not be situated opposite of each other. In terms of psychology, which I know best, it seems to me that people do drift into extremes before they "come to" and realize that change has to be made. Or then change just happens, I don't know but I actually think we are less in charge than we believe. This would be a bit like the Hegelian idea of thesis-antithesis=synthesis. This kind of dialectic process would eventually lead to a higher state of consciuosness where the sense of self would be dissolved without getting lost. The sense of self gets lost if you are mentally ill and lose yourself in psychosis, for instance. I'm not a fan of Western thinking so I personally prefer the Buddhist idea that the sense of self is ultimately an illusion and so one can actually have an experience in which the illusion disappears from consciousness. There are some researchers of consciousness who promptly deny this sort of possibility but many who are acquainted with the Asian way of looking at it don't see it as impossible. My own experience of meditation is that you have an object to focus on for a while (it could actually be music, it works really well) and that focus then brings about a more expansive and profound experience of one's own being. I suspect that's a preliminary to a mystical experience.

Take a cat (because I have three of them): are they thinking? In my opinion they are pretty highly evolved beings and decision makers, but they don't have language. So they have I suppose all these images and impressions in their minds, and they are also able to remember things for various lengths of time. There's a lot going on there but they are still way more present in the now than we are, because we rely on language to entertain us about the past and the future. Perhaps a cat already is a mystic? They certainly have no trouble feeling connected to life in every way (unless of course their psyche's been badly damaged). Or can only humans who are able to transcend language, be potential mystics? These are questions that are surely almost impossible to answer.I wouldn't say Buddhists are agnostics. They have a hell of a lot of beliefs about other dimensions... No one ever claimed there is no God, only that it's ineffable and so in my opinion they are careful about defining it.

As for the Supreme Consciousness, well Oneness implies that it's everywhere. In a sense it's "underlying" all of creation and pervading it yet that's just a way of trying to explain it semantically that obviously doesn't catch the "overall" character of that Supreme "something". Here is where paradox would again enter the scene because Oneness is One AND duality at the same time. It's just us who cannot conceive of such great things who call these things such and such... whereas I'm sure that from some more enlightened point of view there is no problem. Why I'm sure? Uh, just what I believe :-). I do think the inner knowing about the state of affairs that is not tied to language is possible but it does require language to step aside. That's the difference between traditional prayer and meditation; in prayer you talk a lot! In meditation you attempt to bypass the alluring nature of blahblahblah that ties you to the timeline. Time, of course, being yet another illusion that we already know is not a "palpable thing" but a phenomenon relative to objects in space: time seems to take us from a to b but in fact, there are incidents where time is not an issue regarding our experience of reality. One case is that of psychological experiences that may be as vivid now as they were 30 years ago. It seems to me that there is yet another fundamental paradox related to the fact that time is an illusion and everything is available in the now, and our experience of evolution and a timeline. There are in fact many things we already take for granted as part of our day-to-day lives yet we find hard to explain. I personally don't understand how I can talk from one mobile phone to another, lol! Why would the idea of various states of consciousness meet with such resistance then? As you say, even coma is a state of consciousness. They say the person in question may even be aware of what is going on. Ah, so little we know yet!

Artwork: "Between Heaven and Earth", artwork by author, all rights reserved 1998

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

When Changing Your Mindset Isn't Enough - Questions Regarding Spiritual Depression


About a year ago a young man went and shot 9 pupils at a high school in Finland. A year later, another man shoots 10 pupils in a high school. I heard about both cases in the Swedish news, where they also reported that there are more firearms per capita than in most other countries. I think the US is worse, and the third country was probably one in the Middle East. This is a very shocking thing considering that we have always lived with a certain sense of security. Because of the low population in Finland, there is a lot of control, and in fact less corruption than in most countries... Am I living in a country of contradictions? I myself never felt particularly at home here, as one of the minority of Swedish speaking people, I don't really relate to Finnish culture very well. To me it's too stark and unyielding. I am proud to be a Finn when I am abroad, as we are honest people who tend to avoid bragging and bullshitting. This is obviously changing though. While the general atmosphere is more laid back and international, there are also the unwanted elements of the infiltration of the Russian mafia (this is a popular throughway for terrorists) and the craziness that comes from a lack of emotional expression, and the long, desolate winters.


I have been feeling down because of some things that don't seem to disappear although I am keeping myself very busy renovating some furniture and planning a dinner (well, I was really too shy to invite people I don't know all that well, but thought it would be a motivating factor as the days are getting darker... and lonelier. I've also been constructing my own website, improving the old ones, trying to find ways of ordering items connected to my art that I can sell and through which I can promote myself - all this is positive except that I am quickly approaching the limit of the credit that was finally granted me thanks to my long relationship with "the" departmentstore in Helsinki (oh yes, it's that screwed up!). I am tired of being poor and feel almost frantically determined to change this state of affairs. I want to move to a happier environment, I want to feel that I am alive, I want to feel freer, I want to... well you know, all the things that make life worth living. At the moment I'm a bit of a zombie, really. Perhaps as a friend said, it's the isolation that does it. The relentless brooding, the sadness over lost relationships that just won't give in... I don't know. I wish I did. And I guess in some cases, keeping your mind busy is not the solution. So don't believe everything people tell you.


Today I replied to Marianne Williamson's article on Myspace about spirituality and depression. She's the one who wrote "A Course In Miracles", which I respect as I have not read it and have no reason to feel adverse to it (well other than that I didn't read it because I didn't personally feel attracted to it). I am obviously a bit irritable due to all the weird crap that came my way from the spiritual sector during the summer, and so all the oohs and aaahs that her article ignited kind of ticked me off. I mean, come on, folks! Wake up! THINK. For yourselves. Seems as spiritual people are either lulling in some slumber where fairys and angels reign, or scheming evil things with the intention of turning the positive evolution into the revolution of the Dark.
Are the lovey dovey ways going to fix the problems that are more than obvious in this world? I am not saying love gets the thumbs down. Only that... there is "reality" too (I mean the one that still stands after you've removed the illusion-part). You can't love a stranger. Or can you? I guess I thought that was granted only the select few, the real Enlightened ones. But... who am I to say? But when people tell me they love me SOOOO much though they don't have the faintest clue who I am, I get a little suspiscious... Is that paranoia? Possibly. Maybe there's something I'm not getting? Uuuh? Of course, I get even more suspiscious when people do the tests to see how their auras look and publish the results for everyone to see... or do some online test to see what kind of earth angel they might be. Hey, are those any better than magazine tests? You know, the ones people laugh about during coffee breaks? I did one about the auracolour and had a very hard time deciding which boxes to tick. Maybe something is wrong with me? I thought I knew myself really well - after all I've been the main object of my own studies for most of my life... but perhaps I'm too intent on being honest and then I just get... stuck. I did the other one about angels and I just barely made it to "starperson". Then I waited to see if that affected me somehow. Well, truth to say, I was a little more impressed when Archangel Michael talked to me and told me about my origin. IF it was him, of course. But one can always hope.


Ok, here it is: I have studied mysticism and esoterics for nearly 20 years. I think I know a thing or two about the truths the ancients knew already, as well as new findings regarding quantum physics and how it relates to our very basic ability to create (and co-create this reality). I also know about the New Age because I wrote a thesis about it. Admittedly, this movement has changed a bit since, but has it really? I mean, Ken Wilber who does after all have the mind of a genius was very much into the evolution thing. You know, the evolution of consciousness. And when people are talking about the ascension, well is it really a different issue altogether? Hard to say, isn't it? People go all crazy over the Mayan calendar, since 2012 has been marked as a turning point. Truth to say I rather try and manage my day to day life as best I can than get engrossed in all that. It's just too much. I've had so much of all that already. Now I need to live.


Anway, I did write a comment to Williamson, with all my respect for the work she has done, of course. My question is, can we really always fix our mindset and make everything ok? I'll add my response here:


"I'd like to present a slightly different point of view. Not that I disagree with you or that I think I have all the answers. It's just that I used to be very good at monitoring myself when I was sad, I would cry for a while and then go out and spend time in the big bookstore and maybe in its café. That's when I was living in the big city. Maybe the humdrum was distracting me or I was in a more disciplined mode. I suffered a major burn out after this though and it has taken me years to slow down. I'm one of those who have a stressed out nervous system. I moved to a searesort and live alone with my cats in the forest. I thought this would calm me down. In fact I could feel my feelings more acutely and more thoughts more loudly. I tried everything; taking grieving time off to cry about my lost relationships and cats that died under very sad circumstances. I tried to force myself to rest but my stress level was so great I couldn't meditate. Slowly, it got better. But some basic sense of disappointment is holding me in its grip. I've done 30 pieces of artwork this summer which is more than I used to do in year. I am working a lot online (I'm disabled) to promote myself. I am trying to divert attention from any negative thoughts that many so-called spiritual people are prompt to point out. Ok, so I try and ignore my thoughts and only "indulge" in them when I need to write about injustice (well, someone has to, and I do feel it's my purpose). I tried communicating with spiritual people but I was hurt by very many of them, and I promise that I am not exaggerating. The exaggeration is maybe in the fact that I am having trouble letting it go. I have decided to try once more and get out of the social trap I'm in, so I am not totally without a vision for the future. Am I depressed? I finally got a psychatrist who is trying to find out. However, a serotonin boost is seldom the solution, and the extensive use of drugs is only in the interest of drug companies. Like someone said, if you feel happy when you have a reason to be and sad when you also have a reason to be, you're actually healthy. So what are we to do? How are we to get out of the sense of disappointment and desillusionment? I don't know the answer. And believe me: I have been thinking about all this a LOOOOONG time. Btw I understand the "Russian" thing (referring to Marianne's genetic heritage), yes, I am Finnish and so I am not far removed from that either. But that is hardly the ultimate answer. So what is? Truly? With respect, Vivi-Mari Carpelan"


So what is really wrong? Why does a person want so much to "ascend", that is rise into a higher sphere of consciousness, but fails so miserably in creating the reality everyone is talking about? I suspect that one part of the melancholy that lingers somewhere behind all the things that keep me busy, is a disappointment that I tried to fit in with the spiritual people but got only trouble, and that maybe the trouble was a sign that I was forcing it. I have given it a chance - indeed, I spent more time on one of the spiritual sites than I've spent in any other community outside of the socially accepted instititutions. And here I am, claiming defeat. I just cannot force myself to join in with the happy chorus of oohs and aahs and I love yous. On top of everything, I have seen (or believe I have seen) that this is a very American phenomenon. I can hardly keep count on all the people who gave me promises of one kind or another and failed to deliver whatever it was. Well, one promised me a web site but I got tired of waiting (my question, which was not assertive, was met with a defensive explanation about business), and so I created my own through a server (http://www.vivimaricarpelan.vpweb.co.uk/).


It seemed to me while watching all these people who are a majority on the internet, and also in real life through the friend I visited last winter, that promises are given as symbol of optimism, since without it you're dead meat. And if you do want to make it in a highly competitive society, you need to show up a cheery facade and kiss ass, be it real or not. I have thought some about it and it seems that my culture is the opposite in many ways. But in both of them people carry guns and shoot innocent students who are only trying to get themselves an education.
Afterthoughts:
While contemplating these issues today, I thought to add a few of my thoughts. One is, as someone pointed out, that many people today are probably going through a lot of changes and so one needs to try and be compassion about the occasional slip of the ego. I do believe this to be true though it doesn't necessarily make me feel any better at the moment nor help me deal with certain upsetting situations. It's interesting that I read the second article about spiritual depression within a short time span, and I certainly liked Marianne's much better as she was talking out of her own experience. The first one was the one that got me into trouble and that I mentioned in my last blog. Anyway, I do not really feel that I understand what has been said in these articles. To me, it tells me something that people feel a need to use a new term such as "spiritual depression". Now it obviously means, that people are spiritually aware yet depressed at the same time. For some reason that is unclear to me, they want to join these together. Perhaps it's what I have, only I've called it "existential anxiety" or another bout of the real "dark night of the soul" (see previous blog). I don't really feel very connected to "Source" or whatever you want to call the creative force, and it bothers me. I feel guilty about it.
Now feeling guilty of being depressed is certainly a sign of the times. Although it's starting to become a dinner table subject as more and more people confess to popping the happy pill, it's still something you rather not mention as you know that people will shun you. Especially if you don't pop the happy pill! The woman who channelled messages to me in the summer implied at the end in a rather manipulative voice that I "must be highly depressed"; it sums it all up; doesn't it - it's the easy and rather superior answer when you want to get away from someone who makes you feel uncomfortable.
Yet as the links below will show, you may suffer from a longing of "the light" or our basic nature, and thus life as we know it may feel hollow. On the other hand it's not very clear to me how you remedy this state of affairs if you're dysthymic enough or mentally and physically fatigued (for instance suffering a burn out which is becoming more and more common these days) since simply "telling yourself you're beautiful in front of the mirror and smiling at the image every morning" may not be an option at the time. Very likely you also suffer guilt from not being able to pull yourself together. It's amazing how many poeple still think it's a matter of getting a grip or scooping the crap underneath the carpet. Also don't forget the power of hopelessness. One example would be that of disabled people who get no support to keep them busy and motivated, and they also cannot gain a few bucks because they are dependent on the social service. This is because the basic pension is too low.
There are many kinds of depression, that is true. Make sure you don't fall into the category of "people who are a bit sad and need medication". Make sure that you deal with your issues in daylight and hope that it will help you have a good night's sleep. If that doesn't help, it may be that you're suffering from dysthymia, which is a mild but chronic depression that is hard to fix. It could have deep existential origins - perhaps something that nothing really can cure until you decide to accpet life as such (this is hard for many), and of course it can stem from unresolved issues from your childhood. Don't immediately assume that it's just a matter of chemical imbalance, hey come on! I mean yes, things affect other things in the body and our energies. Still, ff you eat right and exercise, the odds are small that your hormones are all screwed up. But if you do feel grief that never ends, maybe some form of therapy could help if you can afford it. It is NORMAL to feel grief and loss, but maybe not for months or years. Life does go on, so don't discount the power of self-healing.
One important thing that I forgot to mention is that many sensitive and empathic people absorb collective energies, and I think that I personally had a pretty heavy load of that due to the shooting in this country. After all, it would upset most people that kids get shot for no reason at all.
I also want to underline that many of the unpleasant side effects that people go through when they take the happy pill (loss of libido and creativity, the zest of life, etc.), could occur if you are taken these medecines unnecessarily. It's only normal that your body would react to something that is out of place. These view points are not made by a medical authority, and so I am only telling what I have concluded over the years. It has for instance been proven that people with fibromyalgia rarely respond to anti-depressants though they show signs of distress and irritability.
P.S. Karen (Univision) kindly sent me these links that might answer some questions:
Artwork: "The Art Of Survival", handmade collage by author, all rights reserved 2008

Saturday, 31 May 2008

FLYING WITH HEAVY WINGS, LIGHT WINGS, OR FLYING AT ALL?



This is an article that I wrote back in 1997 while I was studying transpersonal theories and mysticism at the University of Helsinki. I have a Masters degree in Comparative Religion from 1999. So while I may be thinking slightly differently of my personal reality today, I hope this will serve as a basis for those who are seeking to understand the dynamics of mystical and esoteric teachings!

ATTEMPTING A PSYCHOLOGY OF RENUNCIATION

All mystical teaching aims at the liberation of man from the fetters of the material world. A prerequisite for this, however, is renunciation; in order to achieve a permanent state of mystical union with the divine, all the desires that confine us to the pains and pleasures of the mundane sphere must be extinguished. Everything we were ever attached to, must be sacrificed for this supreme state of being. If we hold on to as much as one photograph, or even the desire to attain a state of mind devoid of desire, then we are still caught up in the wheel of Samsara.

There are, however, a number of questions in relation to this issue that might be considered. Does renunciation, for example, lead to a sense of real freedom, or does it bind us to new rules and restrictions? Is a lifestyle infused with a renouncing attitude life-denying or life-affirming? Could such a lifestyle be considered healthy or pathological? Does renunciation require great efforts of will? Is it something that everybody should be striving for? Is it something that concerns only a few dedicated individuals or could renunciation somehow be considered a natural part of human life?
It seems to me that the subject of renunciation is very much at the core of the question whether a quest for spiritual liberation is a promoter of mental health or not, and therefore I would like to dedicate this article to a few of my own points of view concerning the issue. Rather than presenting an expose of the way that renunciation has been understood and applied within religious traditions of the world, I will venture at a discourse of a more personal nature. My aim is to try and highlight some central features of renunciation such as they have presented themselves to me during my personal quest for the ontological foundations of my own being-in-the-world.

The spiritual traditions that have influenced me the most are Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism, and these will consequently be lurking in the background of my arguments. I am also indebted to many a contemporary writer, but especially to Ken Wilber, whom I consider the greatest now living advocate of transpersonal psychology. From lack of space, I will refrain from explaining his theories in any detail, however. The interested reader is encouraged to consult his impressive production for thoroughgoing analyses of the transcendental aspects of the human psyche.

Renunciation has a negative ring to it, doesn't it? Somehow the word seems to conjure up images of emaciated ascetics with a keen predilection for using a whip - on themselves. The idea of renouncing all the attributes of living in the world seems, of course, nothing short of life-denying... And that is exactly what many an ascet has tried to do - they have actively tried to suppress the life-force of their bodies in order to gain something else. Since spirit was considered in opposition to the material world, then consequently, all corporeal sensations needed to be suppressed. The Buddha himself was attempting this approach, until finally, weak and famished after years of ascetism, he woke up to the realization that one cannot gain the realm of spirit by suppressing its counterpart. "If the string is too tight, it will break, and if it is too loose, it won't sound" were the enlightening words of a musical teacher to his pupil in a boat passing on the river next to Gautama Sakyamunis abode - so the story goes.

The golden middle way, which entails a balance between opposing forces as much on the physical level as within the psyche, was the answer to his quest. Christian faith has also a long tradition of repressing the corporeal aspect of human life, and this may well be one of the reasons why the liberation of sexuality has erupted with such chaotic and often rather destructive features. Whenever we are biased, we are actually defending our viewpoint against its opposite - whether we are conscious of this or not. This is because we can only understand life through an analytic act of comparison: The concept of "low" is incomprehensible without a comparative reference to the concept of "high". The quality of light make sense only when juxtaposed to darkness. Someone who has never experienced a lack of love, would hardly be able to grasp the meaning of hate nor truly appreciate the value of love. And so on.

Reality in itself is not dual -our perception of dichotomies is dependent on consciousness alternating its focus in a linear and dualist manner. Discursive thinking, which follows our perception of dichotomies on the physical and emotional levels, obviously helps us orientate in reality in a meaningful and constructive way, but it also makes us liable to assuming stances "for" and "against" and thus upholding a judgmental attitude and a sense of boundaries. But the question is, how real are these boundaries? And are we irrevocably confined to language for our understanding of reality? I will get back to the question of language at a later stage, but let us now have a look at the play of opposites in relation to the various levels of the human psyche. Everything goes in pairs. If I focus exclusively on being good, then the quality of badness, which is the natural companion to goodness, will be repressed and dispatched into the subconscious, where it will form part of what C.G Jung called the Shadow.
The repressed material may be just about anything that we do not acknowledge and accept as part of our reality, and may also have positive features: if we identify with certain negative and destructive attitudes, then the positive counterparts of these attitudes may form part of the Shadow. Because our psyche is forever seeking a balance of internal forces, the repressed material tends to make itself known in one way or another - this material is calling upon our attention so that our psychological growth may continue. Perhaps the most important way the Shadow appears in our conscious lives is through other people: we project our obscure aspects unto somebody else.

We mirror each other. If we find a person with ever so little of the very same psychological features that we are repressing in ourselves, then we will react to these in an instinctive and probably greatly exaggerated fashion. We may thus experience unproportionate feelings of fear, hate, admiration, infatuation, or any other human affect towards the object of our attention. All this is perfectly natural, however, because it is through these kinds of constellations that we evolve as human beings. Through projections, valuable lessons are being created, and sooner or later we will have learnt what we needed to learn in order to progress.

According to Ken Wilber and other proponents of the transpersonal theory, the consciousness of a human being is in a constant state of evolution. Through what Wilber calls the spectrum of consciousness, consciousness progresses from level to level in a hierchical order by shifting its focus and identifying with even higher modes of cognition, but always including and integrating all previous levels. According to Wilber, pathologies often do occur, and this is due to the repression of previous levels of consciousness. Humanity is presently dwelling on the level of discursive thinking, and does seem to have trouble relating to previous, more instinctual and physically orientated levels. All our shadows tend to create havoc in our personal lives as well as on a global level. A typical example is our difficulty in acknowledging that as biological entities, we are truly dependent on nature for our well-being, and that exploiting nature the way we do is a means of destroying ourselves.

Now, whenever consciousness transcends a level, it renounces its identification with this particular state of being. It has learnt what there was to learn, and will consequently move on to new modes of perceiving and processing reality. According to this model, then, the act of renunciation does not imply any particular effort of will. There has to be a certain willingness to learn and evoluate, but the actual evolutionary drive will still be functioning whether - as self-reflecting individuals - we are particularly happy about it or not. Spirit will eventually have its way... This also means that repressed material will never stay forever in the subconscious realm - sooner or later the individual will become aware of the pathology, and the blocks will clear out through a reflective process of introspection and conscious work with emotional relationships and mental attitudes.

I believe the taoists were right in claiming that the only unchangeable thing that exists, is change. It seems to me that the creative force is an endlessly pulsating rhythm through which the spirit is manifesting itself in various forms of reality. This rhythm is formed through an alternation between the opposite forces of yin and yang: of feminine and masculine, cold and warm, dark and light, passive and dynamic, inhalation and exhalation, destruction and construction... It is when we really learn to dance to this rhythm, when we really become one with the stream of ever-changing patterns of life - it is only then that we will be truly free. For in resisting change by holding on to the past or living in the tomorrow, by grasping at status and material possessions as if we could own these forever, and by just generally being afraid of losing our (false) sense of external security, we are really binding ourselves to a terrible lot of pain and sorrow. We are forever insatiate, forever seeking pleasure, but as soon as we have gained our object of desire, we start to fear its loss. And we eventually do lose it, because that is the law of change. And there will be mourning, pain and an emptiness, that we will attempt to fill up by focusing our attention on yet other objects or people that we might own.

I do personally believe that there is a purpose in all this, a profound meaning that gradually unveils itself as an individual journeys through life. I believe that Spirit is seeking adventure! It is volunteering for this school of life in order to gain experiences. And one day, after a great many rebirths and deaths, nothing could be more natural than to say thank you and goodbye, and move on to some other form of existence. Life goes on, effortlessly, beautifully -if only we allow it to.

There was a time when I thought that the mystical was something apart from the toil and moil of everyday life, that to become enlightened was to enter another dimension of great magnitude and wonder, but quite specifically other than the dimension we human beings are occupying on planet Earth. This is symptomatic of thinking in dualist terms, of course, which, as we have already seen, is the natural stance of the rational mind. Presumably I was also influenced by the fact that people used to withdraw into monasteries in order to dedicate their lives to a search for God. But then I kept coming across the idea that all is One and that microcosmos reflects macrocosmos and vice versa. I had a very strong intuition that this must indeed be the case, and I ventured at trying the consequences of such an assumption. For instance, if the world has been issued out of the One, then obviously it cannot be other than the One. By definition, there cannot be anything but the One. If there is nothing but the One, then the One can have no external boundaries and it must consequently be boundless as well as timeless and spaceless, for time and space are dependent on the existence of physical and mental boundaries (which presupposes the notion that physical reality is not as solid as we think).

And so on... I am not going to present a long list of rational arguments, but urge you to do your own research, if you find it necessary. Suffise to say that according to this way of seeing things, everything that we see and don't see (for surely our faculties of perception and our rational understanding of reality are restricted!), all the experiences we have had, have and will have in the future, all the various manifestations of the natural realm that we can love and hate, use and abuse - all are but aspects of the One - whose abode, so as to speak, is in the eternal, timeless and boundless Now. My body, my emotions and my thoughts, as well as my spiritual aspects, are accordingly also One and only seemingly different from one another. My soul is only seemingly separated from my body. I am only seemingly separated from you. And what about time? Is each moment a separate bead on a straight string of moments? What happens when thinking disappears? Will there still be a perception of time as passing? I suggest you try this one out for yourself!

You may rightfully ask how it is possible that your experience of the world as consisting of neatly separated objects is so acute and convincing, if reality is really boundless? And who or what is experiencing the world as a conglomerate of separate bits and pieces and random events? These are obviously very complex issues, and I cannot hope but to brush their surfaces within the confines of this article. But I will present you with a few more viewpoints in relation to my previous discussion about the role of language, hoping thus to reinforce the idea of our basic identity as boundless and independent of social conventions, as well as renunciation as a natural part of human evolution.

A human being is very much identified with language, and many a philosopher - notably Heidegger - has considered language to be the prerequisite for our sense of being-in-the-world. As soon as we have an experience, we analyze and define it through a use of concepts. There is thus an automatic division between experiencer and experienced - created through thoughts. But according to transpersonal theory, this is only one of many levels of consciousness. This is the level of the ego - in other words the level on which our sense of individuality is being created and maintained through discursive thinking. And as we saw before, discursive thinking is constantly making choices between pairs of opposites. If a thing is not this, it must be that. Because I am me, I cannot be you. And I do know I am me because I am capable of analyzing feedback from my environment! A sense of boundaries is thus maintained. It is very hard for us to think in terms of both-and rather than either-or, and pairs of opposites are particularly difficult for us to contain underneath the same conceptual roof.

Within zen buddhism, intellectual paradoxes - koans - are being used as a means of forcing the rational mind to surrender to a higher form of intuitive knowledge. Experiences of meditation also show that it is possible to have awareness without having thoughts. And believe me - a lot of interesting things start to happen when thoughts are giving way. Meditation is thus a method for deautomatizing - renouncing - our dependency on rational thinking. But what in my experience also starts to happen is a joining of all sorts of opposites, on all levels of the psyche. Eventually even highly charged attitudes of liking and disliking will be married in a new synthesis of deep and honest compassion towards all living beings.

All the shady parts of the psyche will be brought into the light of consciousness, where if met with patience and acceptance, will gradually be integrated into the sphere of love.I feel that Good and Evil should also be acknowledged as equals, for they are but aspects of one and the same thing, and as transitory and relative as all aspects of the worldly realm. I believe that they exist as tools in the school of life, but that the Absolute One is beyond such dualism. Their mission is to help us evolve and eventually to wake us up from the grips of Maya, the power of illusion. When this has been accomplished, they lose their existential meaning for us and will only remain as points of reference for our continued being-in-the-world. All physical, emotional and mental faculties that were cultivated prior to the insight regarding the true nature of human existence, will be included on this new level of consciousness, but there will be no more dependency on them as they will be understood as transitory and therefore no source of lasting happiness. When consciousness rises above the level of discursive thought, all conceptual categories are transcended. This means that there are no words, concepts or mental categories for the kind of experiences that are now being met. We may have to resort to words like joy, bliss, love and happiness in order to indicate what we are experiencing, but it should be kept in mind that these are concepts issued out of a dualist experience of life.

When consciousness no longer identifies with language, the role of the ego also changes, since it is dependent on the illusion of boundaries for its sense of individuality. The ego has to abdicate its autocracy. It does so reluctantly, but it has no real choice. Because we believe so firmly in its solidity, the thought of losing it seems preposterous. We imagine that without a self-sense we'd be thrown into some indefinable void, where we'd be demolished. The ego doesn't, however, vanish - the enlightened being will remain an individual with a certain personality - but it will have lost its hold of the mind. The ego was responsible for the pains and frustrations brought about by the process of choicemaking. The constant swinging from one opposite to another, from pain to pleasure and back again, from possessing to not possessing, and the driving force behind all this - our desires - were very much dependent on the existence of the ego and its analytic faculties, since these are the ones that tied us up and made us resist the movement of change. The process of letting go of the ego and its liaisons may be long or short, but it will happen, as naturally as flowers bloom and fruits and berries ripen - when the time is right.

For reasons that I am not going to speculate about in this context, it seems that a great deal of people are now going through such transformative processes of letting go of emotional and mental dependencies, and this is often happening with great intensity and an accelerated tempo. Most of these people do not find it necessary to take refuge in the confinement of monasteries. In some respects this may be a harder way of maturing, but there is a great deal of support to be found within society today. Consider also this as a way of learning to understand the meaning of the statement that "All is One": in other words that there is no real difference between the supreme state of enlightenment and the toil and moil of everyday life. And I believe that as a process of unification is going on within a great number of people, so it is being reflected within society as well.

To summarize my previous arguments, I would claim that there is a healthy form of renunciation which concerns the letting go of possessive attachments to places, objects, people, memories, and experiences in general, and that this is a matter of the mind. An unhealthy form of renunciation, on the other hand, is one were any form of repression and resistance is the case. But my point is also, that renunciation is not an exclusively "spiritual" phenomenon in the sense that only people with a particularly spiritual outlook are confronted with such issues. On the contrary, we are dealing with the issue all the time, just through the simple process of living life and seeking ways in which we can live it more fluently.

There are, of course, different levels of renunciation. We have to let go of one moment and one thought in order to pass on the next one - this is happening on a very fundamental level of our being-in-the world. Deciding to give up smoking would, on the other hand, involve the discursive mind and probably relate to a number of feelings as well. Acts of renunciation of greater ontological purport would again be taking place on higher levels of consciousness, and this includes the kind of renunciation that I have been focusing on here, namely the kind that helps us break loose from the fetters of illusion. I admit at being especially concerned with the transcendental aspects of human existence, and I'm well aware that many people find discussions about enlightenment rather high-flying: why concern oneself with something that may take place at some indefinite point in the future? My point is, however, that this very moment with all its petty concerns is as "holy" and purposeful as a mystical experience. I feel that there is no need to mystify the spiritual and to create an awe-inspiring abyss between the heavenly and the mundane. Although in attempting to express the ontological foundations of reality we are helplessly drawn into a labyrinth of theories and conceptual categories, this is still part of our nature and our process of living and should therefore be honored, as well.

The important thing is that we look inside of ourselves and express what it is that we are finding there. If the forces of the unconscious are overpowering, then we can always get help in processing the material. In mirroring each other, we are all each other's teachers! But now some closing words on the subject of "ultimate" renunciation, were the beginning meets the end and the circle closes...When a person renounces all attachments to the worldly aspects of existence, there is a final union of opposites: the life-force of the earth will join its heavenly counterpart. In terms of Hinduist mythology: Shakti will rise to join her mate Shiva, and together they will infuse the physical dimension with the power of ultimate Truth. In Buddhist term, the individual enters Nirvana, and becomes one with the Void. The Void is defined as non-being because in one sense, it is the opposite of being-in-the world, which is the only form of being that we are conscious of before waking up to the state of Nirvana. From an absolute point of view, these are of course not in a state of opposition to. This ultimate state is certainly not a void devoid of life. In fact it seems that the void is the abode of all possibilities, of everything that could ever be manifested. And of course I lack the words to describe what I can only intuitively divine...

It goes without saying that the process of purification - of giving up ones desires and bindings - is, an arduous affair. Not only are there a great deal of conflicts (disharmonious relations between polarities) to solve and dependencies to give up, but there is also the simple fact that we have grown used to the world. The world and I - we have been through a lot together. Giving up such a relationship will necessary entail grief. But it is very important to mourn, for it is a purifying process during which masses of stagnated feelings will reach the surface and vanish. And in this process we will become true masters of our emotional lives. No, not dictators, but skilled and loving masters. The fact that must not be surpassed is that whatever happens to our consciousness, we still are human beings and will remain as such until the moment of our physical death. We will have to go on living as usual. In my opinion, a purified person is not in any way of greater value than anybody else - how could it be otherwise, if all is One. But he or she will be an unclogged channel of Spirit, and in infusing physical reality with this force, I've no doubt that such an individual is of importance in the rebalancing of the destructive (read: disharmonious) forces of our dear and beautiful planet.

If all that I have been saying is anywhere close to being true, then it is possible for man to fly into the soaring heights of Heaven with wings of Spirit, light and pure. But beware, for we are not only spirit! May be that our world is an illusion, but it is a very real illusion infused with real value and real purpose (for can we really talk about real and not real, if all is One?), and we are responsible for it. So as long as we are also this body, in this magnificent but badly bruised and crippled world of ours, we need, at the same time, to stay close, very, very close to the earth with its animals and trees and plants and rocks and soil, and all the things that we have created through our intellectual reflection... We need indeed to draw so close, so close that suddenly we are drawn right into it and we realize that this is us! And this, I think, is the riddle of life, the final paradox that we need to solve. In order to become truly humans. In order to become truly free.


Artwork "The Leap Of Faith", handmade collage by author, all rights reserved; copyright V-M C 2004